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College Graduation - Surprise: It ain't happening?

Rascalsmom

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One more piece of general information - in the past few years high schools in our area are offering a LOT more AP (Advanced Placement) classes. A motivated student can take an AP class in HS and for $90 test fee get college credit for that class. My daughter entered college with 9 credits; her roommate had 18, and another friend earned 24.

If they can handle the workload it is quite a bargain, and those kids are finishing undergrad in less than four years.
 

LisaH

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Sorry to hear this but it makes me proud of my oldest daughter who will be getting her BS degree in Biochemistry this Saturday. She did it in 4 years and will be heading off to a PhD program in August.
Congrats! DS will graduate next month (yes I double checked :D) with a BS in Computer Sciences...
 

vacationhopeful

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One more piece of general information - in the past few years high schools in our area are offering a LOT more AP (Advanced Placement) classes. A motivated student can take an AP class in HS and for $90 test fee get college credit for that class. My daughter entered college with 9 credits; her roommate had 18, and another friend earned 24.

If they can handle the workload it is quite a bargain, and those kids are finishing undergrad in less than four years.

Thanks for reminding me ....

He did AP courses also ... a ton of them. Cut well over a semester off his "program".

And he got 800 on the Math section of the SATs ... and as everyone in my family, comment "oh, just like your uncle!"
 

vacationhopeful

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Here is an interesting statistic ... best in that state among the state 4 year colleges ... worst is 5%.

The university he attends ONLY has a 65% graduation rate --- within the "normal" 4 year cycle of attendance. So that old phrase --- take a Look Left and a Look Right ... come 4 years, one of you is NOT going to be here graduating.
 

ace2000

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Here is an interesting statistic ... best in that state among the state 4 year colleges ... worst is 5%.

The university he attends ONLY has a 65% graduation rate --- within the "normal" 4 year cycle of attendance. So that old phrase --- take a Look Left and a Look Right ... come 4 years, one of you is NOT going to be here graduating.

Not sure if you realize this, but 65% is actually a very high rate!
 

LLW

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Okay ... 4 years attending college. 19 days before the BIG EVENT. Plane tickets brought. Major Big State University.

Reason: Wants to change their major (big difference - not even close to original major) and has NOT fulfilled any level of a possible college degree.

I am STUNNED! This is not the vocal or stupid kid. Not a Fraternity member or sports scholarship. Does not appear to drink much (went to PHX Spring Training with my siblings and was fine - sort of the adult trip of your future world).

Anyone with experiences they want to share?

What are the old and new majors? If he's changing from one with which it's hard to find a good career and professional life, to one that's easy (e.g. from music to computer sciences), I would be more forgiving, although there would still be consequences for this immaturity and disregard for others.
 

Clemson Fan

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I sort of pulled something like this, but not on such a short time table. I was an engineering major and I did a co-op job every other semester over a 2 year period at Argonne National Lab outside of Chicago. Working that job I came to the conclusion I really didn't want to be an engineer for the rest of my life. One of my buddies in the biological section was pre-accepted to med school at University of Wisconsin. I started picking his brain about what it took to go to med school because I literally had no clue as nobody in my family was in medicine. I found out that I had all the pre-requisites pretty much done except for Biology 101 & 102 and the MCAT. So when I went back for my senior year I announced to my parents that I was going to try to go to med school. That was completely out of left field for them. I did, however, finish my engineering degree and just took Biology 101 & 102 as a 5th year senior with all the youngling freshmen. I took the MCAT, applied and got into med school, graduated and accepted my engineering degree and framed it and never ever used it.

My advice to this kid would be if your only 19 hours away then why not just go ahead and finish the degree. Then just work on the degree and career path he really wants to pursue. Even if he never wants to use that degree, just having it may be a significant differentiating factor when applying for something he really wants.
 

DeniseM

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He's not close to earning a degree:
has NOT fulfilled any level of a possible college degree.

"19" is the number of days until graduations.
 

vacationhopeful

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What are the old and new majors? If he's changing from one with which it's hard to find a good career and professional life, to one that's easy (e.g. from music to computer sciences), I would be more forgiving, although there would still be consequences for this immaturity and disregard for others.

Has been Computer Science with a Data Base interest to Astronomy - just the opposite IMHO

In a somewhat defense of his actions, Astronomy was his minor.
 

Ken555

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I suspect there's more going on than you know.


Sent from my iPad
 

DeniseM

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Question: Have his parents seen his grades. Has he been passing the classes he was taking?
 

BocaBum99

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Okay ... 4 years attending college. 19 days before the BIG EVENT. Plane tickets brought. Major Big State University.

Reason: Wants to change their major (big difference - not even close to original major) and has NOT fulfilled any level of a possible college degree.

I am STUNNED! This is not the vocal or stupid kid. Not a Fraternity member or sports scholarship. Does not appear to drink much (went to PHX Spring Training with my siblings and was fine - sort of the adult trip of your future world).

Anyone with experiences they want to share?

Wow. My son is coming home next week. He is a Junior. Smart kid, but absent minded. I could actually see him forgetting to tell me if he isn't graduating. I need to ask him if he in on schedule to finish next year. Thanks for the heads up.
 

BocaBum99

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Has been Computer Science with a Data Base interest to Astronomy - just the opposite IMHO

In a somewhat defense of his actions, Astronomy was his minor.

Computer science isn't an easy major. It's one where you need to put in the hours or you can't get the projects done. Lots and lots of hours even if you are good. If he has been having trouble with this major, he would have known it a while ago. If it were my youngest son, he would simply not want to deliver the bad news to me. Perhaps your son knew he wasn't going to graduate and couldn't get the nerve up to tell you. When he finally did, it was too late.
 

vacationhopeful

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Computer science isn't an easy major. <snip> Perhaps your son knew he wasn't going to graduate and couldn't get the nerve up to tell you. When he finally did, it was too late.

Nephew. Oldest of 3 brothers. Both parents have great college backgrounds; Dad has at least one advance degree. Not practically as a youth nor ever a leader ... just went with the flow and then would freaked OUT angry if things got difficult or not getting his way. Younger kids looked up to him :doh:.

I am amazed by this whole mess.
I went 1000 miles from home during the Vietnam War Era - no internet, no cell phones, just 5 day old letters from home ... maybe once a month. And NEVER ever any cash, checks or plane tickets or stipends from the college or my parents or other relatives.

I got myself to/from school at my expense; every penny I spent came from my jobs: babysitting, working fast food, lifeguarding; decided alone on all classes and adventures ... had a great 3.5 years earning 2 degrees and a minor from course work at 3 universities. And got a great job starting 2 weeks after my classes ended (was offered many professional jobs).

Right or Wrong ...at 18, I had to do it all. There was no backup plan or support ... I came home from college one summer and a night or 2 later, my older brother took my car and smashed out a telephone pole. My mom laughed about my trashed car as she suggested I needed to take her to work - if I wanted a car that day. Yes, I took her to work and then went to my grandmother's dining room to tell my plight .... My grandmother called my dad over and told him to get me a car or give me my mom's car ... as they gave permission to my brother to drive MY CAR.... 3 days later, I had an used car plus my parents who were mad as all get out. It was a 3 speed stick & I learned to drive it in the field next door. I had to - I had already paid for my summer college classes and had a job.

Some kids NEVER get it .... most do grow up (some sooner and other kids, years later).

Glad I am not a fly on the wall of my sister's house come this Sunday after lunch. I figure someone is going to be getting some life lessons .... like: College costs MONEY! Money is not infinite! You are oldest of 3 brothers. You got your 4 years of college; what are your plans NOW? We are saving for retirement.

PS The middle brother is finishing his 2nd year of college this week. And 3 years left in high school for the youngest brother.
 

BocaBum99

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Nephew. Oldest of 3 brothers. Both parents have great college backgrounds; Dad has at least one advance degree. Not practically as a youth nor ever a leader ... just went with the flow and then would freaked OUT angry if things got difficult or not getting his way. Younger kids looked up to him :doh:.

I am amazed by this whole mess.
I went 1000 miles from home during the Vietnam War Era - no internet, no cell phones, just 5 day old letters from home ... maybe once a month. And NEVER ever any cash, checks or plane tickets or stipends from the college or my parents or other relatives.

I got myself to/from school at my expense; every penny I spent came from my jobs: babysitting, working fast food, lifeguarding; decided alone on all classes and adventures ... had a great 3.5 years earning 2 degrees and a minor from course work at 3 universities. And got a great job starting 2 weeks after my classes ended (was offered many professional jobs).

Right or Wrong ...at 18, I had to do it all. There was no backup plan or support ... I came home from college one summer and a night or 2 later, my older brother took my car and smashed out a telephone pole. My mom laughed about my trashed car as she suggested I needed to take her to work - if I wanted a car that day. Yes, I took her to work and then went to my grandmother's dining room to tell my plight .... My grandmother called my dad over and told him to get me a car or give me my mom's car ... as they gave permission to my brother to drive MY CAR.... 3 days later, I had an used car plus my parents who were mad as all get out. It was a 3 speed stick & I learned to drive it in the field next door. I had to - I had already paid for my summer college classes and had a job.

Some kids NEVER get it .... most do grow up (some sooner and other kids, years later).

Glad I am not a fly on the wall of my sister's house come this Sunday after lunch. I figure someone is going to be getting some life lessons .... like: College costs MONEY! Money is not infinite! You are oldest of 3 brothers. You got your 4 years of college; what are your plans NOW? We are saving for retirement.

PS The middle brother is finishing his 2nd year of college this week. And 3 years left in high school for the youngest brother.

Oh, so this is your nephew. I missed that fact. Anyway, given your description of him and his parents, I am pretty sure it is the fact that he was too afraid to tell his parents that he wasn't going to finish his Computer Science degree. I'll bet that the parents strongly encouraged him to go that route instead of picking it himself. The same type of thing happened to me with my 12 year old son. He did extremely well in everything through 6th grade. Then, he started coming off the rails in a number of things and was afraid to tell me for fear of disappointment and/or criticism. I've had to back way off to give him room to make his own mistakes and grow up.

Since you are the auntie, what I would do is show compassion for your nephew and visit him on campus. Take him to lunch and find out what is going on. He may tell you and you can guide him in the right direction. That's what I would do if it were one of my nieces having problems. It's very tough being a son or daughter of very successful parents. The level of expectations are very high and those parents will always say, "you don't know how good you have it. I didn't have any of the privileges you had and I had to do blah blah blah...." You get the point. Then, you can help your brother out by letting him know what he can't see because the son is hiding it from him.
 

ace2000

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Without knowing the specifics, you could blame the parents for not double-checking before they invited everyone, or you could blame the student for not keeping the parents informed. Or maybe they're both at fault to a certain degree... who knows?


Vacationhopeful - none of us know as much as you do. I'm curious who you feel is more at blame? (Based on the knowledge you have). I'm guessing that you appear to be on the parents side, since most of your replies in this thread have related to the nephew, and probably zero focus on the parents. So, in your opinion - who is it mostly - the nephew's or the parents fault? I'm kind of curious whether I'm reading you right. :)
 
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chriskre

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My niece just "graduated" from College.
They let her walk, but she still has to go back and take a micro-economics class that the school counselor had failed to let her know she needed. :rolleyes:
They admitted that since it was their fault and that she was a Phi Theta Kappa candidate that they would let her walk with the rest of her class.
But the school only allowed 2 invitations per person because there were 14,000 graduates in her class. :eek:
 

Jason245

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When I graduated there was limited seating and I had to get "tickets" for my guests.

It would have been nuts for my parents to invite others (without my knowledge) since they wouldn't have had anywhere to sit if I didn't know about them in advance.
 

vacationhopeful

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Ace2000 ... I feel for the parents' STUNNED DISBELIEF.

The parents are smart, forward looking, planning, caring. My sister does the room mother, troop mother, organizes everything, and manages the home front. Both are very well liked and respected in the neighborhood.

As for this young man ... I think it is mostly HIM. He is too quiet and does not communicate to either peers or adults. A loner. But they have not done much about this either ... been in a single college dorm room for the last 3 years. .....<snip>The parents should be able to help and had the skill set if giving some direction by professionals . The youngest brother is sensitive and not going to be an problem... plus he has 6 more weeks of high school.
 
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Glynda

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Our experience...

Okay ... 4 years attending college. 19 days before the BIG EVENT. Plane tickets brought. Major Big State University.

Reason: Wants to change their major (big difference - not even close to original major) and has NOT fulfilled any level of a possible college degree.

I am STUNNED! This is not the vocal or stupid kid. Not a Fraternity member or sports scholarship. Does not appear to drink much (went to PHX Spring Training with my siblings and was fine - sort of the adult trip of your future world).

Anyone with experiences they want to share?

Not quite the same but our daughter notified us around the third quarter of her senior year attending college away from home that she wanted to yet again change her major which would mean she would not graduate at the end of the spring term, as she would with the current major, but would require another year. Her father (we were paying) told her "no." He told her to just finish something. Get the degree. Several years later we learned the real reason she wanted to change her major. We were paying for her to live alone in an off-campus apartment that year. She had a boyfriend. We thought he lived elsewhere. Turned out he didn't. He was living with her, paying nothing. He was a year behind her. Funny thing happened when she went ahead and graduated and came home to find a job. He immediately found another girl with an apartment near campus. Broke her heart!
 

ilene13

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In 1968 my father sat me down as I was about to go off to a private university and told me that both he and my mother had 4 year experiences in college, which included receiving their degrees and he expected the same from me. I complied. I had the same discussion with my sons, who did not know the words "state university of", and they too got their degrees from private universities in 4 years.
 
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