cremation costs

My friend is paying for a cremation with an urn burial in an already paid grave with a marker.There will be an obituary in the local paper, a church service and then the burial. The cost is about $4000 which i think is outrageous. I have no idea about these costs but it sure sounds unreasonable. i certainly hope the funeral director is not taking advantage. What a terrible question to ask, but I am sure someone can make a comment.

Cremation costs will vary depending upon the services requested. Internment of the ashes in a urn only increases the costs. I have seen basic cremation, where you get the ashes in a cardboard box, run between $750 to $1,500. Prices on urns depend on what you buy. I know a co-worker who's brother makes carved wooden boxes for ashes and charges a few hundred dollars to the mortiuary. The mortuary in turn charges several hundred dollars to the consumer. If one choose a more eleborate urn or, one made from polished granit the price can go up pretty steeply.

As much as I hate to say it, IMHO, depending upon where you live $4,000 sounds about right. Most casket funerals I'm aware of seem to be running between $10,000 and $15,000. I'd have to look but, I believe my fathers funeral in 1988 ran around $5,000. It occurs to me that my mothers funeral, which was almost a duplicate of my dad's, was closer to double the cost a short 10 years later. I could be wrong as I haven't revisited the prices of those funeral for a number of year. This is just the way I remember it.

Ashes To Ashes. Dust To Dust.

Joyce said:

My friend is paying for a cremation with an urn burial in an already paid grave with a marker.There will be an obituary in the local paper, a church service and then the burial. The cost is about $4000 which i think is outrageous. I have no idea about these costs but it sure sounds unreasonable. i certainly hope the funeral director is not taking advantage. What a terrible question to ask, but I am sure someone can make a comment.

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There is no need for a costly urn. If the basic $20 black plastic box from the undertaker is too stark & plain, it's OK to buy a suitable non-funeral container, appropriately styled, from a non-mortuary source like T.J. Maxx or Marshall's. The mortuary should be willing to cooperate.

Full Disclosure: For a while there, a few years ago, I was doing business with a local funeral home at such frequency that they greeted me at the door by saying, "Hello again, Mr. Cole. Would you like the usual?" (or words to that effect). Of course they would prefer to supply as much in funeral services & merchandise as the customer will agree to -- the more & the costlier the better. But this particular establishment also respects my belief that it does no special honor to the memory of the dear departed to spend money unnecessarily on funeral services & merchandise. These morticians are willing to go the whole 9 yards with the sky as the limit, or to go with economy & simplicity -- the customer's call, with no stinting on dignity regardless of what the customer chooses. They are willing to talk dollars & cents. They are willing to show their complete price list of services & funeral goods in advance, & they do not insist on using only items bought from them (e.g., burial urns, coffins). When my father's ashes were laid to rest right next to my mother's burial place in a cemetery near here, his remains were housed in a handsome & dignified & sturdy chest-style container that we bought at a local non-mortuary retail store. Ditto when my stepmother's sister's ashes were transported for burial next to her late husband's grave in another state -- they went in a decorative urn-style container that came from T.J. Maxx. Everything went fine both times. No word of criticism was spoken (that we know of), nor should there have been any fault-finding, because everything was handled with dignity & respect at every stage.

-- Alan Cole, McLean (Fairfax County), Virginia, USA.​

The cremation doesn't cost $4,000 - it's the fancy urn, the funeral, and the the internment charges that are jacking up the price. And it sounds about right for those services.

We had a simple cremation for my MIL recently, and it was less than $1,000.

Jerry and I both had/have contracts with the Neptune Society. Our contracts include cremation, an nice urn, a memorial candle, a planning book, and also a travel provision so if I should die on a vacation, etc., my remains would be repatriated at no cost. Jerry was buried at the Nevada Veterans' Cemetery at no cost (including a military honor guard and flag ceremony as well as a grave marker). I will be buried beside him for a cost of $400. They also have crypts. The whole thing for both of us was a little over $3000.

Its another one of those things you should think about before it is too late if you want it to be easy on your survivors. I know it may sound icky to some, but face it, we are all going to die some day.

Fern

Here in Maine a reputable undertaker has been advertising $999 cremations which includes everything from picking up the body to its burial in an urn and evrything in between.

As Fern mentioned, items such as this really need to be adressed before one dies making it easier on all the survivors.

frencieinme

When my Mother passed away last November, her cremation was $750 (with a discount from the Hospice) and we purchased a nice engraved marble vault for less than $200 from Perfect Memorials. I saw a cremation advertised on the side of a City bus today for $565!!

My wife and I were just talking about this subject. Her parents, both deceased, were cremated. My parents are slowing down and having various health issues. Being an only child, I will eventually make at least one decision on my own. My side of the family has never even considered cremation, but when one looks at the inevitability, it certainly makes at least economic sense. (Please don't interpret that as I'm reducing everything to dollars and cents.)

As much as I think some weddings cost outlandish amounts of money unnecessarily, I've come to the conclusion that certainly funerals should not cause financial stress on top of everything else going on.

Thanks for this thread, as it's helped me get an idea of some of the journey on the road ahead.

Marty

Under the US's FTC (Federal Trade Commission) all funeral service providers are required to provide the family making funeral arrangements with a "GPL" or General Price List, and I believe in advance of making the commitment to purchase services.

If they feel they've been taken advantage of, they should have the GPL to reference back to. With the GPL and a services agreement, the funeral director has met their legal obligations. Unfortunately, funeral services are something not often shopped for until needed and then it is emotionally too difficult to shop around.

Preneed shopping and even purchasing helps to take this potential issue out of the mix.

Even if there is an existing plot for the deceased's ashes, there is probably a fee (and pretty high one at that) to open the grave site. For my mom's funeral in 1995 I think it was close to $1,500.

P.S. for more info on the GPL, check it out here: Funeral GPL Info

Costco even sells caskets and urns online. For US only no international sales

http://www.costco.com/Common/Category.aspx?cat=20595&eCat=BC|20595&lang=en-US&whse=BC&topnav=

They have expedite services, regular services, urns, flowers and keepsakes. I have happy to report they never sell these in the stores only online.

As Fern noted, veterans and their spouses are afforded burial in a national cemetery at no cost. This can also include dependent children (such as retarded adult children etc). Cremated remains can be buried, spread or placed in a crypt at Arlington.

Besides "National Cemetaries," the VA also funds state Veterans' Cemetaries in many states, including the two in Nevada. We don't have a National Cemetary here.

Many veterans find it gives their life a special meaning to be "with their buddies" in death, or so they tell me.

Fern

My father was buried a few weeks ago. I paid 1127.00 just to the cemetery to have the grave opened and the burial. He had already paid most of the other costs. This was our third funeral in six years. The process is ridiculous in my opinion.

Joyce said:

My friend is paying for a cremation with an urn burial in an already paid grave with a marker.There will be an obituary in the local paper, a church service and then the burial. The cost is about $4000 which i think is outrageous. I have no idea about these costs but it sure sounds unreasonable. i certainly hope the funeral director is not taking advantage. What a terrible question to ask, but I am sure someone can make a comment.

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All the big and little things add up: The cost of opening and closing a grave. The cost of engraving dates on the already purchased marker. The cost of embalming if the deceased had a viewing prior to cremation or was not cremated within a certain timeframe after death. That depends on state or local laws.

Thankfully, my FIL had pre-paid his funeral and had aleady purchased a plot and vault (he was buried and ordinances require the casket to be placed inside a cement vault). He had purchased 5 plots. So there are still three left. One will go to Dad's oldest son when the time comes. The mortician explained that that particular cemetary was more expensive than the little one across the street from the mortuary. It would cost less to bury BIL in that cemetary, including all costs, than to bury him in the already pre-paid plot next to his parents. The cemetary with the pre-paid plots requires a certain type of headstone/monument and you have to buy it from them and you have to allow them to engrave it and they charge $$$$.

Also, is your friend's church service costing her anything? In our church it does not but in some churches you may be asked to pay the minister for his/her services as well as to rent the space for the service. Obituaries used to be free but they now cost and depending on how long it is, obituaries can cost hundreds of dollars.

My husband wants to be cremated when his time comes, so this thread is of interest to me. He doesn't care what I do with his ashes. I just hope I don't have to decide what to do with them. I hope I go first. I don't want to be a widow.

I am a member of the XXXX XXXX Cremation Society which is run by a local funeral home which has been in business for over 100 years. I pay a small fee every two years. My recollection is that it is $95. It would be lower but I included a provision that the guaranteed $750 cost would be the same should I die anywhere in the Continental US. My thinking is that it is cheaper to ship ashes than a body.

George

Rose Pink said:

<<snipped>>

Thankfully, my FIL had pre-paid his funeral and had aleady purchased a plot and vault (he was buried and ordinances require the casket to be placed inside a cement vault).

<<snipped>>

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Hopefully the money he paid into a "pre-need" account is still there. Someone may want to double check as there have been a number of shyster funeral directors and "sellers" who have run off with the money, leaving the family with nothing towards the funeral costs.

Many/most states require funeral directors to put the money into an insurance type product or trust account so that the money will be available when needed. But that doesn't mean it has been done that way.

Sorta like the investment scandal involving John Corzine in NJ. That should have never happened either but it did and now lots of people are out millions of dollars.

p.s. I did note that this thread is old (2010).

Timeshare Von said:

Hopefully the money he paid into a "pre-need" account is still there. Someone may want to double check as there have been a number of shyster funeral directors and "sellers" who have run off with the money, leaving the family with nothing towards the funeral costs.

Many/most states require funeral directors to put the money into an insurance type product or trust account so that the money will be available when needed. But that doesn't mean it has been done that way.

Sorta like the investment scandal involving John Corzine in NJ. That should have never happened either but it did and now lots of people are out millions of dollars.

p.s. I did note that this thread is old (2010).

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I did not note the date. Shame on me. It was brought forward by a spammer.

Just heard this morning

that my best friends brother died Wednesday. He'd been sick for years and years. NOfuneral at all. He donated his body to science with the hope that someone could be helped finding out his illness and just maybe helping some-one out in the future.His wife got a call yesterday (Thursday) explaining that her husbands eyes had been successfully implanted into a little girl, 4 years old, that had been blind since birth. A great ending to a sad story.

I didn't think about it much before it happened, but I gotta tell you, its no fun being a widow. If I had a choice, I would not have chosen this life. But I did not have one. Such is life.

Fern

Rose Pink said:

I hope I go first. I don't want to be a widow.

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Fern Modena said:

I didn't think about it much before it happened, but I gotta tell you, its no fun being a widow. If I had a choice, I would not have chosen this life. But I did not have one. Such is life.

Fern

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The cliché, "You don't know what you have until its gone" is true in every sense of the words, especially to those we love. Thanks for the reminder Fern. Sending hugs.

Fern Modena said:

I didn't think about it much before it happened, but I gotta tell you, its no fun being a widow. If I had a choice, I would not have chosen this life. But I did not have one. Such is life.

Fern

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This is so true Fern, and you stated it well. I thought I could handle everything fine, but that's not so. I always had 'my JErry" around to help. Thank goodness we pre-paid for our funerals and caskets. And I had my 3 kids around to help me.

As for cremation costs, my sister passed about 2 weeks after Jerry did and I tried to keep in touch with the son she lived wit h in Virginia Beach. When I asked about her funeral he said he finally found a funeral home who would take care of it for $2500..but wanted to sell him a $5000 casket, which he could not affort. I told him NO...and when I asked him if he could afford the $2500 he said no. I ended up sending him $1000 to help him out. What a ridiculous price.