Pulling kids out of school for timeshare trips

I have, not often, taken my children out of school for a day or two. Once, with full cooperation from school administration, for an entire week - I was getting married soon and it was the only time my future husband and I could both get off work. Visited his family in Georgia and Florida.

That is something I haven't seen anyone else here mention - some parents/workers are very limited in their vacation plans. They can't get a summer week, or spring/winter break week.

One of my grandsons friends goes to Costa Rica for a week every January, has since he was born (7 years) it is the only time he has ever spent with his grandparents.

DeniseM said:

True Story - I once had a high school student in my class that was dropped from school, because of a week long trip to Disneyland. She already had bad attendance, and it was the last straw.

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This seems kinda Mickey Mouse to me, how about you?





Okay - I am WAYYYY late in the thread. How did this get so much attention/commentary? The thread is the fastest I can recall ever seeing.


My 2 cents is it is very child and situation dependent. We wouldn't plan it for higher grades unless absolutely necessary (family special event - like a wedding/funeral) and would plan to ensure there was no impact to the child's actual education. I skipped a grade in math and know many who skipped entire grades in grade school - you CAN miss a week and be okay. Rules of the school board aside (they should be followed) - I would be thinking about the kid first and foremost - the other things are somewhat noise IMnsHO.

I was just thinking about planning pulling my kids out for a day next year to see if we can get a 4 day long weekend in at Glacier Canyon......if I can get a reservation. But this is just one day........let the commentary continue!

traveldaddy said:

....My 2 cents is it is very child and situation dependent. ......

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My nephew travels and behaves better in small groups and usually with me. He has issues and his school attendance is BAD ... even with medications, talk therapy, parental support, etc. He missed 38 days his last year in elementary school. When he moved into Middle School, it all got worse. We talked about something he really wanted - a trip to Ft Lauderdale in July (9 months off) and I went over WHY his parents had veto that trip for 2 prior summers. He agreed to change - "with serious and rigid go to school" rules for the next 3+ months ... and he met them without any meltdowns.

He did not get the FLL trip --- he got WDW/AKV for a week. And it was a trip neither of his parents ever wanted to take him on again. My sister was speech less when she ask "What are you really planning?" And she told me on the day we flew off, "there is no ride or any other thing he will do at WDW; GOOD LUCK with him!". He was great - he loved it. And I have a picture book to prove it.

But the best part of this is 3+ years later (High School) .... he continues to go to school every day. And with weekly private tutoring (to focus him on doing the school work), he got his first "A" ever in Principals of Engineering and the next quarter, made the "Honor Roll".

traveldaddy said:

This seems kinda Mickey Mouse to me, how about you?











Okay - I am WAYYYY late in the thread. How did this get so much attention/commentary? The thread is the fastest I can recall ever seeing.

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You have to understand that a lot of the TUG responders are retired educators, hard to get an objective opinion.

I am the parent of a special education student, so I have a biased opinion too. My wife and I had to work tirelessly to get services for our son from the school district, the teachers were great but the administration not so much.

One of my pet peeves was staff development days, they always seemed to schedule two days the week before Thanksgiving, then expect the kids to come to school mon-wed the week of the holiday, we always took off to visit family. I always took Memorial , Thanksgiving, and XMas as my three weeks off work.

Adding: In the UK there is a financial penalty to parents that take their kids out of school during non-holiday periods. The parents have been very vocal about resorts and airlines jacking up prices during school holidays, they are not happy about it.

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As DeniseM said, there are different rules, depending on your school district.

I realize most of the opinions expressed here relate to the American experience, but wanted to chime in with our Canadian experience, just for variety. Ten years ago, we took our 2 children out of school for 2 weeks in May for SIL's wedding in the Netherlands. We spent the first week in London, extended weekend in the Netherlands, and the rest of the trip in Paris. Our children experienced all manner of historical sites (Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, Stonehenge, Roman Baths, Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, Notre Dame, Sacre Coeur Basilica, the Rose Line in Saint Sulpice to name a few). Also, we were in the Netherlands for the 60th anniversary of VE Day - a historical event near and dear to both the Dutch and Canadians. Our children were in grades 6 (DS) and 3 (DD) at the time, and were able to spend two solid weeks in the company of their great-grandparents, grandmother, and extended family.

When planning the trip, I spoke to the school administration and teachers at the start of the school year. I asked about what the children would need to do to keep up with the work. Their response: keep a journal of the trip and present it to the class on return. The first-hand educational value of this kind of trip far outweighed the days they were scheduled to miss. Full disclosure: it didn't hurt that the 2 weeks we were away coincided with the prep time for standardized testing in the province.

During their high school years, we routinely took them both out of school for a week (4 days when coupled with a provincial holiday) for a mid-winter break. Both our children are now in university and doing very well. In high school, DS was on the Honour Roll and graduated with the highest mark in Geography (he would go on to major in this in university). In 2014, DD graduated from high school as Valedictorian, with the highest average of her class. We're very proud of both our children and we wouldn't have done things any differently with our vacations, given half the chance.

All of this to say: there are no hard-and-fast rules and what worked well in our situation, may not work (as well or at all) for others. We have incredible, priceless memories of our vacations, made even more poignant now, with great-grandfather gone.

With respect to the educator opinions, even those are not monolithic. My MIL is a retired LAUSD high school teacher. She is the one that paid for her two daughters, their husbands, and 7 total granddaughters to go on a Disney Cruise with her... In October. That's when she could get an affordable rate for three cabins.

So I guess, even with the educators, the answer is still, "It depends!"


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DeniseM said:

Talent312 - Children are now taught reading and math in Kindergarten - the curriculum has really been "pushed down," so that's no longer true.

However, you're right - absences at the age will be less critical, as long as they aren't absent all the time.

Children in the early grades who have excessive absences often never catch up with their peers, and that has devastating consequences in their later years of education. Once you miss the optimal window to learn to read, it is very difficult to ever catch up.

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But that optional window is somewhere in their 5 th year of Life and different for each child.

http://lauragraceweldon.com/2012/08/07/reading-readiness-has-to-do-with-the-body/

My oldest son goes to private school and his spring break the last couple of years has been the last week of March. My 2 younger ones aren't of school age yet. We love to go skiing and it's my personal favorite family vacation each year. Well after 2 consecutive years of crappy snow conditions during the last week of March, we've decided to pull him out of school for a week in Feb next year to go skiing.

He's a high achiever in school and tested in the 99th percentile on his 4th grade ITBS standardized testing this year. He tested at the 9th grade level. I don't think pulling him for a week next year is a big deal and I don't think the school will view it as a big deal.

Clemson Fan said:

My oldest son goes to private school

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Private schools can basically have any attendance rules they want, so they are not constrained by state attendance laws.

DeniseM said:

Private schools can basically have any attendance rules they want, so they are not constrained by state attendance laws.

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I know. That's why I made that statement.

DeniseM said:

Attendance is audited by the state, because funding is directly based on attendance, and a school that is not following the law is in big, big trouble, and may lose significant funding.

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That's the key. Forget about all the soapbox arguments, it's really just all about the $$.

Clemson Fan said:

That's the key. Forget about all the soapbox arguments, it's really just all about the $$.

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Absolutely - I was very clear that money is the reason schools in CA have such strict attendance rules - no mystery here.

It seems the whole justification of school year "educational" trips is so that parents can take the trips they want.

Give any child or teenager $2000 and the option of flying to Rome during the school year or hanging out at the local Holiday Inn or Hampton Inn with their friends and eating take-out until the money runs out during the summer, and what do you think they would choose?

As for the bias of educators, hmmmm ... the opinion of a trained educator or the opinion of a self-indulgent parent, what is the best choice?

CO skier said:

the opinion of a trained educator or the opinion of a self-indulgent parent, what is the best choice?

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Yeah, that's not a slightly biased statement.

Clemson Fan said:

Yeah, that's not a slightly biased statement.

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OK ... and pulling students out of school for a week for no other reason than "I think it's the best ski conditions of the year" is not self-indulgent.

That is the stalemate where these kinds of discussions always end.

I never took my kids out of school for a time share vacation or any other kind of vacation. School was the most important thing they did and Infelt I would be sending the definite wrong message by letting them skip school to play on a beach.

CO skier said:

OK ... and pulling students out of school for a week for no other reason than "I think it's the best ski conditions of the year" is not self-indulgent.

That is the stalemate where these kinds of discussions always end.

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I would agree that I have pulled my kids out of school primarily for self-centered reasons. My Four Seasons Aviara, Marriott Newport Coast, and Aulani exchanges over the last three years all occurred while school was in session, and I did not want us to pass them up. I could try to retroactively rationalize some educational aspects, but that would intellectually dishonest.

Going forward, I will be far more judicious in my decision-making about whether to pull the kids out of school, while recognizing that I my have a self-indulgent relapse under certain circumstances. I just hope that any such relapses will be few and far between.

DeniseM said:

Please be aware that teachers do not have the authority to excuse school absences.

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Yes I know. My main point was even if I wanted you pull my kid out if school for longer than a day or 2 my kid wouldn't let me. Last year we missed our connecting flight on SFO at the end if spring break by 5 minutes. Had to fly into maui to get back to Oahu. Didn't land until midnight and get home by 1 am. The kids insisted on going to school the next day. And they woke up, no complaints and did.

I am a private school administrator and my wife is an elementary teacher, and we have pulled our son out of class for a week long vacation in both kindergarten and grade one.

For our personal situation I don't see us doing this past grade 3 or so, but I believe the positives outweigh the negatives at this point in time.

Due to the nature of my job I'm not able to take vacation time at spring break or during the summer holidays, and I firmly believe that their is a dearth of family time in today's work-life balance. I agree with most here on TUG that school is an incredibly important commitment, but there can be tremendous educational and social development value during travel time as well. Everyone here seems to have a strong opinion, and now you know mine...

theo said:

I'll go with at least 3 with no research, and I'll even name them ---Virginia, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania.

There might well be others too, but your pop quiz stipulated no cheating.

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I believe if you add Kentucky, you will have covered all of them.

RBERR1 said:

I am curious how my fellow Tuggers have dealt with this.

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We decided early on that we would not pull the kids out of school for vacations at any point. This decision has served us well, and I would make the same decision again. We've still gotten to do pretty much everything we've wanted to do over the years. True, airfare is higher, and things can be more crowded, but we figure that's just a small part of the total price we pay for having kids.

The kids are both doing very well in school, and probably would not have been the worse for wear to have missed class time. But, we wanted to send the message that responsibilities come first. We also place a high value on vacations---clearly, as we take many of them---but we schedule them around our other commitments, rather than vice versa.

CO skier said:

OK ... and pulling students out of school for a week for no other reason than "I think it's the best ski conditions of the year" is not self-indulgent.

That is the stalemate where these kinds of discussions always end.

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Hey now, we did put him in ski school for a few days and that was during his spring break the last few years. So we owe it to the kid as make up time for extra days of school.

I would suggest that most parents truly "self-indulgent" vacations don't involve kids at all.

CO skier said:

OK ... and pulling students out of school for a week for no other reason than "I think it's the best ski conditions of the year" is not self-indulgent.

That is the stalemate where these kinds of discussions always end.

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In all seriousness, what you call self-indulgent I call important family time. Yes school is important, but it's not the be all end all. My kid has been to I think 20 different states and 7 different countries (Canada, Phillipines, England, France, Germany, Austria and Belgium) all by the age of 10. His life experiences are as important as any school time he's missed going to these different places. The trip to Germany, Austria and Belgium did cause some missed school time. His teachers have always been very gracious about when we pull him and we make him keep a journal during the trip and he has to give a report in front of his class on what he's learned.

What do you all think of home schoolers? While we don't officially home school, my wife and I do constantly try to educate our kids. I admittedly have a lot of libertarian leanings and I appreciate and don't have any problem with parents who put forth the effort to home school.

BTW, in full disclosure both of my parents are retired public school teachers.

Elan said:

I would suggest that most parents truly "self-indulgent" vacations don't involve kids at all.

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Amen brother! . That is a great post!!! :hysterical:

Our last son was conceived in Germany when we had a separate bedroom from our oldest son.