Ancestry DNA: Would you or wouldn't you?

[taterhed]

Agree with all.

Hmph. What are they going to do? Clone me? Oooh. There's an idea......

 

[DaveNV]

Right or wrong, one thing the Ancestry test may do is help resolve the "Who am I?" questions.

My mother was married several times, and had children from at least three different men. My younger brother and I were the last in the line. We four siblings grew up knowing the older two were half-siblings, and my younger brother and I were the only two with the same father. No biggie, it was just how our lives played out. As adults, we have a great relationship, and parentage is a non-issue for us.

As we grew up, my younger brother and I came to look very different from each other. While I am the obvious child of my father, (our looks are very similar), we have always wondered about my younger brother. The resemblance between us was our mother's features. My brother has none of my dad's looks. Something was afoot, surely.

All our parents have been deceased for years. Going through family lore, a few nefarious notes we found in mom's things, and finally, due to a very direct, almost vicious letter written to my brother by my mom's female so-called "best friend" at the end of her life, accusing our mom of all sorts of misdeeds while she was married to someone else, we decided we needed to know what was going on. My brother had always felt like an outsider, and he wanted to know the truth. Dad left when my brother was only two, so my brother didn't really know him.

I had previously done the Ancestry test. My daughter had done the test, and had learned a lot about how to compare results to find genetic differences between family members. So my younger brother took the test. And sure enough, we do not have the same father. That in itself was not a great surprise, but it was nice to finally have it confirmed. It could have ended there, and we'd have been fine with it.

But then the question rose of who my brother's father is. My daughter dug deeply into the Ancestry databases and family trees, and within a very short time had found the answers. She found not only the right guy, but also that he has a family. When my daughter visited the Facebook page of one of those other sons, she found a man who could be my brothers twin. They are only a year or two different in age, but their looks, body type, interests, and so much more are so similar, it was uncanny. My brother was dumbstruck - it was like looking in a mirror. But he could also finally relax, knowing who his father really is. That man is still alive, but is quite elderly now. My brother has no interest in contacting him, or trying to establish a relationship with him, because it's not important. He knows who he is now, and that was the whole point.

None of this is being said to pass judgment against anybody in my family. My mother had her reasons for how she lived her life, and things between her and my dad were not always good. Their divorce, I think, was inevitable The good from this is my brother now knows his own story, and that's the validation he wanted. After nearly sixty years of wondering why he was the odd man out in the family, he has his answers.

Dave

 

[taterhed]

Thanks for sharing....it's a very thoughtful post. Families are never easy, but some are certainly more ...er, complicated than others.

 

[clifffaith]

Not in a million years would I do DNA testing. It's only a matter of time before they use this to set health insurance rates or exclude you altogether. I tend to be weird about what little remaining privacy we have. I'm glad that they caught the Golden State Killer though.

Wouldn't it be great if siblings and cousins, even a child or parent, thought that a relative had possibly committed murder that they'd do a DNA kit just to get themselves into the data base so the authorities could track the perp down if it were true. I feel an episode of Law & Order coming up!

 

[clifffaith]

Given that I was adopted, I've found it to be a great help.

I guess the "all records are sealed unless birth parent and adopted child both agree to be contacted" is pretty much a thing of the past now? Any adopted child can do a DNA test and be linked to blood relatives if they also did one?

 

[taterhed]

....Or maybe a good way to 'frame' that uncle you never liked.....

 

[DaveNV]

Wouldn't it be great if siblings and cousins, even a child or parent, thought that a relative had possibly committed murder that they'd do a DNA kit just to get themselves into the data base so the authorities could track the perp down if it were true. I feel an episode of Law & Order coming up!

I think you may be on to something. But I think it takes multiple connections, doesn't it? In the case of a recent cold case I heard about here in Washington, the police were able to narrow it down to two brothers. One of them was proven innocent, and the other was arrested for the murder.

Dave

 

[Passepartout]

Dave: Way cool story about your family and siblings. Thanks!

 

[Glynda]

I guess the "all records are sealed unless birth parent and adopted child both agree to be contacted" is pretty much a thing of the past now? Any adopted child can do a DNA test and be linked to blood relatives if they also did one?

Most likely. Mine was an open adoption as far as my birth mother is concerned. She lived with my parents for about a month prior to, and after, my birth. I have a letter she wrote to my adoptive mother naming my birth father and giving information about him. My birth father is dead and never knew about me and had no other children. He had no sisters and his brothers and father are dead. Since I have no Y chromosome, I have been unable confirm information other than that the ethnicities are as told.

 

[Glynda]

....Or maybe a good way to 'frame' that uncle you never liked.....

And how would one do that?

 

[isisdave]

You definitely need to think in advance what you might do about surprises.

In DW's family, there had been a deathbed confession about who someone's actual father was, and the AncestryDNA certainly confirmed that!

In my own, there are a couple of "first or second cousins" I don't recognize. A message from one of them gave me three clues as to her origin, from a time and a place where one of my cousins, in adolescence, was, umm, being indiscreet and careless.

Now what? Said cousin is still alive. Do they know? Would they want to? (They're not in my report so I assume they've not done the test.)

 

[SandyPGravel]

I'm curious about the supposed ancestry on my father's side. My G-Grandfather, I was told, was at least part Native American...(I know I know everyone claims to have NA heritage.) But he was alive when I was a teenager, I still have a picture of him and the features could be... What's really interesting is at one point he said to my grandmother I wish your mother would have told you who your father really is. Now, my memory of him was of a grumpy old curmudgeon and I could see him saying that just to be mean.

My mother's side does loop-d-loops too. I should write a soap opera based on what I know about my family. Some of the stories are as messy(or worse) as daytime TV! I have at least 3 half uncles all because of infidelity. Who knows what I'll find out?

I recently submitted the 23 & me kit. Guess I should have done the Ancestry one instead since someone previously mentioned that is better for DNA matches. I guess I will see what comes up. I purchased the 23 & me because it was a pretty good deal on Amazon Prime day.

 

[Brett]

I had genetic testing done a couple of years ago (around age 80) because I wanted to know if my body was harboring any cancer susceptible genes. I had it done at a major hospital that specializes in genetic testing. It wasn't a cheap process as I first had to provide 3 generations worth of dates of birth, dates of death and causes of death before the hospital would go forward with the testing. Based on this data I didn't qualify for Medicare to cover the genetic testing so I had to pay for everything out of pocket. I think all in all I spent about $2,000. The good news is that I came back genetically clean. Am I glad I had it done? Yes! As an aside I suspect that today one doesn't have to jump through all the hoops I had to....

George

genetic medical testing keeps getting better every year
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/13/health/genetic-test-heart-disease.html

 

[puppymommo]

Well, I took the Cyber Monday deals bait and bought 2 genealogy DNA kits today. The one from Ancestry.com and one from a UK-based group called Living DNA. I did quite a bit of research on what different companies offer. I chose Ancestry.com because I already have an account with them with a rather extensive family tree. Plus they have the numbers in terms of people signed up with them. I chose Living DNA because 75% of my heritage is UK: 50% Irish and 25% English. I like how they can break down areas within England and Ireland. With the discounts for Cyber Monday the cost for both wasn't too bad. I will be interested in comparing the results.

 

[Egret1986]

Well, I took the Cyber Monday deals bait and bought 2 genealogy DNA kits today. The one from Ancestry.com and one from a UK-based group called Living DNA. I did quite a bit of research on what different companies offer. I chose Ancestry.com because I already have an account with them with a rather extensive family tree. Plus they have the numbers in terms of people signed up with them. I chose Living DNA because 75% of my heritage is UK: 50% Irish and 25% English. I like how they can break down areas within England and Ireland. With the discounts for Cyber Monday the cost for both wasn't too bad. I will be interested in comparing the results.

Congratulations on going for it!

 

[DrQ]

No

'I am what I am, and that's all that I am.'

 

[chellej]

I did the ancestry DNA a while ago. What really disturbs me is that they keep updating the results. I mean exactly how are they coming up with this DNA....The latest update removed the portion that was from Scandanavia....this is absolutely incorrect....I know my great-grandfather immigrated from Switzerland. So last week Ancestry said I was 6% Scandinavian and this week 0 %.

I just find it disturbing.....I am thinking it is more comparative ....Any ideas?

 

[tschwa2]

I did the ancestry DNA a while ago. What really disturbs me is that they keep updating the results. I mean exactly how are they coming up with this DNA....The latest update removed the portion that was from Scandanavia....this is absolutely incorrect....I know my great-grandfather immigrated from Switzerland. So last week Ancestry said I was 6% Scandinavian and this week 0 %.

I just find it disturbing.....I am thinking it is more comparative ....Any ideas?

Did they move the 6% to another area?

 

[rapmarks]

Got a nasty surprise when family members did dna

 

[vacationhopeful]

rapmarks .. you got my attention. Daddy not 'the expected' dad?

I look like my paternal grandmother even in facial features but my next sister does not resemble ALL other family direct members or siblings (4 other siblings). Does have my Dad's brother's (and HIS kids) coloring (blond and blue eyed ... a recessive trait).

 

[tombanjo]

Switzerland is not in Scandinavia ......

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

I did the ancestry DNA a while ago. What really disturbs me is that they keep updating the results. I mean exactly how are they coming up with this DNA....The latest update removed the portion that was from Scandanavia....this is absolutely incorrect....I know my great-grandfather immigrated from Switzerland. So last week Ancestry said I was 6% Scandinavian and this week 0 %.

I just find it disturbing.....I am thinking it is more comparative ....Any ideas?

The "science" of assigning ancestry is imprecise from gene is imprecise. When assigning ancestry, the gene testing companies are making inferences from their testing database. As they get more information, how they make assignments changes.

The accuracy also goes down as the geographic area gets tighter. Assigning gene patterns to a certain continent is much more reliable than assigning them to a specific country or ethnic enclave.

Also, as someone noted, it's not surprising for you to have little or no Scandinavian if your forebears are Swiss.

 

[T_R_Oglodyte]

My mother grew up in German North Dakota. We can trace her Germanic roots. My father is Swedish. Again, we can trace his family roots to Sweden.

My brother did one of the tests, and they said he was about 30% eastern European/west Asian. Which wasn't a surprise because my mother's German ancestry traces through German communities in the Ukraine. It seems those communities were more integrated into Russian culture than they let on.

 

[PigsDad]

Switzerland is not in Scandinavia ......

Yes, Scandinavia includes Denmark, Norway and Sweden, and in some definitions Finland and Iceland. @chellej - you may want to take another look at that...

Kurt

 

[rickandcindy23]

I did 23 and Me a year ago. I was hoping to connect to my half brothers and sisters on my real father's side. It was a waste of time, at least so far. Not a single person matched to my DNA close enough to connect me to them in any logical way. I connected with my real father at 18, visited him and his wife and kids. He let my mom take full custody, once my mom married my adoptive dad.

Unfortunately, dear old dad's name is extremely common, similar to John Smith name. His last name is one of the most common possible. Most of my cousins on 23 and Me are 3rd-5th cousins. I tried to get information, but most of them were on my mom's side of the family or didn't answer, or had no idea how we were connected.

It was the same for Rick, in trying to find his father's relatives. His dad was adopted and was bitter about it. He wouldn't follow through and look for any of them, when he could have. He died with a lot of information in that head of his. We know his parents' names, but not one lead.

So I am of the opinion that it is a waste of time, if you hope to really learn anything of value as an adopted person (or child of an adopted person).