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Ancestry DNA: Would you or wouldn't you?

rickandcindy23

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And my stepdad, my mom's 3rd husband, basically found out that one of his daughters couldn't be his. That was a shock because she looks just like him. How is that possible? The girls' mom died a few years ago, so no one to ask what happened there.
 

rapmarks

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rapmarks .. you got my attention. Daddy not 'the expected' dad?

I look like my paternal grandmother even in facial features but my next sister does not resemble ALL other family direct members or siblings (4 other siblings). Does have my Dad's brother's (and HIS kids) coloring (blond and blue eyed ... a recessive trait).[/QUOT




No, my children’s dna is exactly what was expected
 
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tombanjo

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DNA tests companies are not magic ways to dig up long lost relatives unless those long lost relatives have a) done the test and b) shared results.

They do give insights into the thousands of years of DNA that connect you with the past generations and their grand movements through geographic regions as a people.

Sites like ancestry.com offer DNA testing to add value by confirming what you may believe from written records or oral family history. It can also show that what you may have been told doesn’t match the science.

Just like searching for birth or marriage records, if data is missing, you aren’t going to get the whole story.

There is a British TV show “Heir Hunters” where private firms search for living relatives to share a deceased persons estate if they died without a will. So many shows highlight illegitimate children, raised by the mothers parents or other relatives, that may not have known the whole story of who they are. Life is a bit messy and using DNA testing can unravel some of these mysteries, but requires lots more people to test and share, and a lot of research tying genetic matches into documented connections through birth, marriage and adoption records too.

We share about 60% of our DNA with a banana plants, BTW.
 

rapmarks

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23 and me also showed my daughter likely to have Alzheimer’s
 

T_R_Oglodyte

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rapmarks

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rapmarks .. you got my attention. Daddy not 'the expected' dad?

I look like my paternal grandmother even in facial features but my next sister does not resemble ALL other family direct members or siblings (4 other siblings). Does have my Dad's brother's (and HIS kids) coloring (blond and blue eyed ... a recessive trait).
No, my children’s dna is exactly what we expected from my husband and I.
 

Glynda

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I did 23 and Me a year ago. I was hoping to connect to my half brothers and sisters on my real father's side. It was a waste of time, at least so far. Not a single person matched to my DNA close enough to connect me to them in any logical way. I connected with my real father at 18, visited him and his wife and kids. He let my mom take full custody, once my mom married my adoptive dad.

Unfortunately, dear old dad's name is extremely common, similar to John Smith name. His last name is one of the most common possible. Most of my cousins on 23 and Me are 3rd-5th cousins. I tried to get information, but most of them were on my mom's side of the family or didn't answer, or had no idea how we were connected.

It was the same for Rick, in trying to find his father's relatives. His dad was adopted and was bitter about it. He wouldn't follow through and look for any of them, when he could have. He died with a lot of information in that head of his. We know his parents' names, but not one lead.

So I am of the opinion that it is a waste of time, if you hope to really learn anything of value as an adopted person (or child of an adopted person).

As an adopted child, I confirmed, on either 23andme or Ancestry, two of my maternal half-siblings, a niece and several first and second cousins. I have not confirmed family from the paternal side perhaps because they have not been tested, our shared ancestors are not recent ancestors, or because my birth mother gave the wrong name of my birth father! 23andme allows me to see who those in my relatives group are related to. I can take each person and see if they are also related to a person confirmed to be from my maternal side. Those left over on my list, who do not match my known maternal relatives, I assume are paternal. That's a lot of work though!
 

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Just beware. Other relatives like distant cousins can confirm that that your related to unknown relatives. Like if you had a love child many years ago. Strange people come out of the pool of DNA tests. This is how cold criminal case's are getting solved now. You don't even have to participate in the testing. Other relatives will do it for you. HA!
 

rapmarks

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As an adopted child, I confirmed, on either 23andme or Ancestry, two of my maternal half-siblings, a niece and several first and second cousins. I have not confirmed family from the paternal side perhaps because they have not been tested, our shared ancestors are not recent ancestors, or because my birth mother gave the wrong name of my birth father! 23andme allows me to see who those in my relatives group are related to. I can take each person and see if they are also related to a person confirmed to be from my maternal side. Those left over on my list, who do not match my known maternal relatives, I assume are paternal. That's a lot of work though!
You have to contact through the site and they have to respond to you, many don’t use their name, or just a first name.
 

Glynda

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Just beware. Other relatives like distant cousins can confirm that that your related to unknown relatives. Like if you had a love child many years ago. Strange people come out of the pool of DNA tests. This is how cold criminal case's are getting solved now. You don't even have to participate in the testing. Other relatives will do it for you. HA!

That's fine with me! Solving cold cases is a good thing. Perhaps this kind of testing will become a deterrent to crime when other methods may not be working!
 

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That's fine with me! Solving cold cases is a good thing. Perhaps this kind of testing will become a deterrent to crime when other methods may not be working!

I'm not sure a DNA registry will be a deterrent to crime but when everyone has their DNA registered then it will definitely be easier to solve crimes where DNA is involved
 

Glynda

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You have to contact through the site and they have to respond to you, many don’t use their name, or just a first name.

Right. I know this. Thanks for adding it as I forgot to. After sorting through closer relatives listed, and comparing them to known maternal relatives' matches, those remaining I can contact, if they have allowed it, and hope that they respond. Not only do some not use their real names, they also don't always list countries of origin and family surnames. I just need one paternal match to confirm that my birth mother gave the correct information. I know a good deal about my named and deceased birth father. Ancestry.com was a godsend as it helped me connect with his stepson and he was willing to talk on the phone with me for hours, share medical information and photos of my birth father. He and I are friends on Facebook and he has been very reassuring and complimentary of my named birth father, who did not know about me. However, my birth father had no other biological children and his brother would not speak or correspond with me. He is now deceased as well. So when I find spare time, I sort through the list and compare to my maternal relatives' lists. It's a journey. But being adopted always has been!
 

Glynda

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I'm not sure a DNA registry will be a deterrent to crime but when everyone has their DNA registered then it will definitely be easier to solve crimes where DNA is involved

One can always hope!
 

rapmarks

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A friend of mine announced “ I have two new grandsons, they are 27. They were born one day apart to two different mothers in a hospital in Norfolk Virginia when my son was on shore leave”. She was happy about having new grandsons.
Her son never knew about it. The boys got their dna tested and found each other. the one was persistent and his mother gave him the name of the father. He contacted everyone on Facebook with the name. Took him over a year. The father’s wife won’t let him have contact, but my friend went and visited them. The father has no other children.
 
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rapmarks

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As an adopted child, I confirmed, on either 23andme or Ancestry, two of my maternal half-siblings, a niece and several first and second cousins. I have not confirmed family from the paternal side perhaps because they have not been tested, our shared ancestors are not recent ancestors, or because my birth mother gave the wrong name of my birth father! 23andme allows me to see who those in my relatives group are related to. I can take each person and see if they are also related to a person confirmed to be from my maternal side. Those left over on my list, who do not match my known maternal relatives, I assume are paternal. That's a lot of work though!
have people been willing to help you? What drives you to find out, curiosity? What are your feelings about being given up?
 

chellej

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Switzerland is not in Scandinavia ......

You are absolutely correct....I have always thought that switzerland was near sweden, denmark and norway. This makes much more sense. I guess I need to go back to geography class.
Did they move the 6% to another area?

Yes they moved the 6 % into great britain, also moved 8 % from Iberian Peninsula to Germanic Europe
 

clifffaith

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You are absolutely correct....I have always thought that switzerland was near sweden, denmark and norway. This makes much more sense. I guess I need to go back to geography class.


Yes they moved the 6 % into great britain, also moved 8 % from Iberian Peninsula to Germanic Europe

I find it fascinating that they continue to update the percentages based on getting more input from other subscribers. I would have thought the number was static.
 

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23 and me also showed my daughter likely to have Alzheimer’s

There are more factors involved in developing late term Alzheimers than the variant/variants tested by 23andme. Did your daughter test positive for two e4 variants of the APOE gene or just one? I have one variant which terrified me when I first read my report! However, I uploaded my DNA to Promethease.com (Unfortunately, 23andme doesn't allow this anymore.) and looked at just the genes and variants thought to be related to Alzheimers. I love Prometheases' pie charts. I might read of a bad (marked red) variant and start to worry, but then look up at the pie chart for the condition which is divided by red (bad), green (good) and gray(not tested) and see that the risk is really a very low portion of the whole. I also did some reading that relieved those fears. And I have a very good relationship with my PCP and brought it to her attention also asking her to keep it off the record. She was not concerned about it as having one variant 4 it is just a slightly increased risk, and I am very active physically and mentally. She, and articles I read, said that there is controversy over whether this APOE gene is related to developing late term Alzheimers, or not, and how much if so. Still, I am glad that I found out through DNA testing as I can do things that might help. Learning a new language is one. Dance lessons and being physically active is another.
 
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Glynda

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A friend of mine announced I have two new grandsons, they are 27. They were born one day apart to two different mothers in a hospital in Norfolk Virginia when my son was on shore leave
Her son never knew about it. The boys got their dna tested and found each other. the one was persistent and his mother gave him the name of the father. He contacted everyone on Facebook with the name. Took him over a year. The father’s wife won’t let him have contact, but my friend went and visited them. The father has no other children.

I hope it was "announced" to you privately. And the Facebook contacts were by PM's! I have never wanted to barge in and shock someone though one way or another, I'm sure many have been shocked when they learned of me in my situation. Are you in contact with your "new grandsons"?
 

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I briefly considered it. But heck, the ancestry part of it has caused havoc so I'd hate to think what else might happen.

I found out that my parents weren't married when I was born (lied to me,) I was adopted by my father because the state was prosecuting him for adultery, I was born with a different name but the records are sealed so I have no idea what it was. Oh, and that I have a huge family named Smith in the Vermont area and Oliver Cowdery and I share a grandfather. But at least we go back to the Mayflower.
 

Glynda

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have people been willing to help you? What drives you to find out, curiosity? What are your feelings about being given up?

Whew! Those are big questions that could lead to an autobiography! :) I'll try to answer as concisely as possible.

Yes, some people have been willing to help me. I wrote of finding my birth father's stepson above. When I traveled from SC to MA in 1976 to meet a half-sister, I took the only information I had about my birth father which had been written by my birth mother in a letter to my adopted parents while arranging my private adoption. We traveled to the town he had lived in and went to the courthouse and found that what had been written in that letter could be verified. Next we were able to attain his WWII military discharge papers (?) and then on to the library where we went through city directories until we found that his brother was still living in the family home. I called him, pretending to be looking for my birth father for a reunion. He told me that he had died one month previously in Colorado. I asked some other questions about him and he told me that my birthfather had died "childless." That's all I knew for 38 years about him. So when I found a hint leading to a public tree on Ancestry.com in 2014, I discovered that he had raised two little boys who were 2 and 4 when he married their mother! I was irate that his brother considered him "childless." If only I had known sooner. Anyway, I contacted the tree owner and she contacted his stepson and he agreed to talk to me and we ended up spending hours on the phone and he sent me a number of photos of my birth father and provided other information. However, I am running into a blank wall right now with DNA matches. One day, as more test, more trees are posted, and I work on those known relatives who have tested to sort through who is maternal or paternal, I may hit on someone willing to help again. I just want it verified that he is the birth father.

What drives me? And what were my feelings about being given up? Hmmm...Well, I always knew I was adopted at birth. Yet that knowledge led to my feeling different from others and as if something was missing. Perhaps part of it was the fact that I am a natural redhead and my parents had dark hair. People were always bringing it up. They still do. I wanted to know who was/were my red-headed ancestor/s out there. And I built a fairy god-mother, "Glinda the Good Witch", vision of my birth mother who was out there "looking for me" because this was all a mistake. I did that mostly when being punished by my adopted mother. Lying in my bed, as I'd been sent to my room, deservedly for the most part, I day dreamt this woman up who wouldn't treat me this way and who would let me do, give me, what I wanted. I looked for her (redheaded women) all over town among people passing by or in my church, etc. I fantasized that certain ones were my "real mother" and how we would connect. I was always driven to find out but my parents would not talk about it. Now I know that my adopted mother is my "REAL mother." The woman who chose me, raised me, loved me and never gave up on me and is right here in my home almost to her 97th birthday and I will never give up on her. I often wonder if I had had information about my birth mother when I was a child if I would have realized that I had the better outcome by having been adopted. I fared better than all my half-siblings. I don't know. I might not have had developed the ability to discern such things yet. My birth mother died when I was 11 years old. I have read many letters she wrote to family members and picked their memories. I have many photos and have visited her grave in CA.

When I was 20, my adopted mother told me that there were other children born to my birth mother and gave me a letter a half-sister had written to her a year prior asking if she could contact me. That started the ball rolling, or as one of my half-siblings says, "opened the can of worms." Later my mother gave me the letters naming my birth father. It's been a process over 50 years. Sometimes I go at it strongly and then perhaps am disappointed or find out something "icky" and back off, sometimes for years. Now, I am no longer emotionally in need of this "family" out there, though I am emotionally involved with some of the birth family. It has become a mystery to solve. Ancestral regions, health histories, family histories and photos have become the focus.

BTW, my DNA results state that I had a 99.5% chance of being a blond-haired, blue-eyed girl instead of the red-headed, hazel-eyed girl, that I am. Neither of my birth parents had red hair. Nor did my half-siblings, immediate grandparents or half-aunts! Go figure! :) Hope I haven't bored you but you asked. :D
 
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Glynda

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I briefly considered it. But heck, the ancestry part of it has caused havoc so I'd hate to think what else might happen.

I found out that my parents weren't married when I was born (lied to me,) I was adopted by my father because the state was prosecuting him for adultery, I was born with a different name but the records are sealed so I have no idea what it was. Oh, and that I have a huge family named Smith in the Vermont area and Oliver Cowdery and I share a grandfather. But at least we go back to the Mayflower.

Lies almost always come back to haunt, don't they? I found out I have a grandfather who was a bigamist! Those are the "worms pulled out of cans" these searches lead to. But still very worth it to me.
 

rapmarks

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I hope it was "announced" to you privately. And the Facebook contacts were by PM's! I have never wanted to barge in and shock someone though one way or another, I'm sure many have been shocked when they learned of me in my situation. Are you in contact with your "new grandsons"?
I should have reworded that. The friend has two grandsons, not me. Will see if I can fix it.
 

rapmarks

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There are more factors involved in developing late term Alzheimers than the variant/variants tested by 23andme. Did your daughter test positive for two e4 variants of the APOE gene or just one? I have one variant which terrified me when I first read my report! However, I uploaded my DNA to Promethease.com (Unfortunately, 23andme doesn't allow this anymore.) and looked at just the genes and variants thought to be related to Alzheimers. I love Prometheases' pie charts. I might read of a bad (marked red) variant and start to worry, but then look up at the pie chart for the condition which is divided by red (bad), green (good) and gray(not tested) and see that the risk is really a very low portion of the whole. I also did some reading that relieved those fears. And I have a very good relationship with my PCP and brought it to her attention also asking her to keep it off the record. She was not concerned about it as having one variant 4 it is just a slightly increased risk, and I am very active physically and mentally. She, and articles I read, said that there is controversy over whether this APOE gene is related to developing late term Alzheimers, or not, and how much if so. Still, I am glad that I found out through DNA testing as I can do things that might help. Learning a new language is one. Dance lessons and being physically active is another.
My husband, his mother, and grandmother all had it.
 
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