How Old Should Kids Be When They Get Their Own Digital Devices?

[bogey21]

I have a high schooler. There is NO WAY they can function in today's school environment w/o this technology.

For better or worse this is the way it is. Thus the earlier in life they become proficient with the technology the better off they are. And I say this as the user of an old clam shell with text messaging and voice mail blocked...

Another thought. I don't know how one monitors this without an alert, technically savvy and involved
stay at home Mom or Dad...

George

 

[Luanne]

When my daughter was 16 she was also given a Cell phone to use for emergencies . She did not use is wisely, as those were the days of roaming charges. She ran up a bill of two thousand dollars and must have talked on the phone the entire time she was driving. Sorry to say, she never learned from her experiences.

Ouch. Maybe I was lucky, my daughters didn't do that.

 

[SteelerGal]

I have kids in elementary through high school.
I want/yearn to be unplugged, but over the last 5-10 years, the schools have made it absolutely impossible to do that.
I don't want my kids to have cell phones, tablets, laptops, but our "good" school district basically demands it.

A few years ago, Our school district made my eldest start using a google chromebook in 7th grade. (All the districts in my vast metro area either use Chromebooks or IPADs_
Last year, my 2nd kid started using it in 4th grade.
Now they are starting in 2nd grade with it.

They've done away with almost all textbooks, and my high school kid is forced to do all her reading, homework, studying, everything on her Chromebook.
In Freshman orientation, the teachers made all the kids take pictures of the powerpoint presentations with their cell phones.

My 5th grader does more than half her assignments on Google docs and chromebook.
My 3rd grader had type an essay on a computerized standardized test (I taught her to type "I can't type")

The middle schoolers and high schoolers get daily notifications of practices and games for their sports and clubs via Instagram. So, if you want to be in any school activity, you need a cell phone.

I tried to fight the system as long as I could, but it's a completely different education world in the last 6 years.
I think the education system is doing much harm by introducing tech so very early, but we have to go along unless I want my kids to fail school.

I work in tech and I would love to dis connect. However schools are intricately tied in. And as always there are benefits and negatives. The negative for us is having children w/ADHD who we need to limit screen time. And it’s quite difficult when homework is via a computer. Yet, we are making it work.

 

[WVBaker]

"Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards."
Aldous Huxley - Brave New World

 

[geist1223]

Somehow my kids survived their restrictive old fashion parents. They are all self-supporting. None of them have ever moved Home to be supported after college. Oldest has his own computer firm writings Apps for Samsung, Harvard, Liberty Mutual, etc. Another works for a major Financial/Investment Company. The last is a Clinical Psychologist in the USN.

 

[Cornell]

I’m also going to add there there is truly no way a teenager could have a social life in today’s age without a smart phone. It is how teens communicate and make plans. And providing teens access to their friends for an independent social life is absolutely developmentally appropriate and healthy.

 

[Free2Roam]

Giving your children access to their own devices and being a good, involved parent that reads to them when younger, has meaningful conversations, etc are not mutually exclusive.

My thoughts exactly...

 

[uaremymuse]

Giving your children access to their own devices and being a good, involved parent that reads to them when younger, has meaningful conversations, etc are not mutually exclusive.

We will have to agree to disagree on this one. There’s very little meaningful conversation to be had or useful use of one’s time from what a cell phone brings into a child’s life at those ages. I’ll assume by your response that you’re an academic since you didn’t mention having children. Theory is all good for intellectual gymnastics but in practice it flys out the window for most parents and for lots of practical reasons.


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[Cornell]

We will have to agree to disagree on this one. There’s very little meaningful conversation to be had or useful use of one’s time from what a cell phone brings into a child’s life at those ages. I’ll assume by your response that you’re an academic since you didn’t mention having children. Theory is all good for intellectual gymnastics but in practice it flys out the window for most parents and for lots of practical reasons.


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Sorry to blow your assumption that I'm merely an academic -- I have a teenager. I actually find that technology can ENHANCE our conversations b/c we will be discussing something that we are curious about and she immediately looks it up and researches it. She has always been a curious kid and information and the world is at her fingers.

 

[bluehende]

We will have to agree to disagree on this one. There’s very little meaningful conversation to be had or useful use of one’s time from what a cell phone brings into a child’s life at those ages. I’ll assume by your response that you’re an academic since you didn’t mention having children. Theory is all good for intellectual gymnastics but in practice it flys out the window for most parents and for lots of practical reasons.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So the ap on my young grand daughter's Ipad that does virtual experiments is a waste of our time? Sitting there discussing what we know, what we want to know, and how to design an experiment to get that info is useless? Before you ask I have two children both with graduate degrees in Inorganic Chemistry or Engineering. My wife has worked in early childhood education for 40 yrs as both an academic and service provider. I also know that I have seen people I consider not to be the best parents raise beautiful human beings and the greatest parents in the world raise a monster. I thank God every day that my boys are what they are despite all the mistakes my wife and I made.

 

[uaremymuse]

Sorry to blow your assumption that I'm merely an academic -- I have a teenager. I actually find that technology can ENHANCE our conversations b/c we will be discussing something that we are curious about and she immediately looks it up and researches it. She has always been a curious kid and information and the world is at her fingers.

Pretty safe assumption given that I asked you directly that question and you didn’t provide an answer.

You’re a rarity if in fact your child doesn’t turn into a non communicative child between the ages of 15 until she’s financially on their own.


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[Cornell]

Pretty safe assumption given that I asked you directly that question and you didn’t provide an answer.

You’re a rarity if in fact your child doesn’t turn into a non communicative child between the ages of 15 until she’s financially on their own.


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I didn't answer your questions ("Are you a stay at home mom?" "Is there a stay at home dad"?) because they are completely irrelevant , none of your business, and contain thinly (maybe not so thin) veiled judgement.

 

[Luanne]

Pretty safe assumption given that I asked you directly that question and you didn’t provide an answer.

You’re a rarity if in fact your child doesn’t turn into a non communicative child between the ages of 15 until she’s financially on their own.


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Wow. You sound very judgemental.

 

[Luanne]

I didn't answer your questions ("Are you a stay at home mom?" "Is there a stay at home dad"?) because they are completely irrelevant , none of your business, and contain thinly (maybe not so thin) veiled judgement.

Not to mention that you did mention you had a teenager in an earlier post. I guess someone just doesn't read everything.

 

[geist1223]

Pretty safe assumption given that I asked you directly that question and you didn’t provide an answer.

You’re a rarity if in fact your child doesn’t turn into a non communicative child between the ages of 15 until she’s financially on their own.


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Pretty harsh and attacking. Totally inappropriate. How come everyone else has kept from attacking personal comments but you.

 

[geist1223]

I know this has been primarily about children and electronic devices. But a sad commentary on today's societal norms. Shortly before I retired a few of us from work were out to lunch. Between ordering food and eating woderful Thai Food we had a table conversation about then current affairs family, etc. Two people come into the restaurant. They definitely appeared to be co-workers. As soon as they sat down out came the Smart Fones. Throughout their meal hardly a word passed between the two. Their noses were buried in their Smart Fones. Sad to see. What happened to face-to-face interaction? Can the youth of today successfully participate in face-to-face interaction. I hate it when people try and draw me into a long text exchanges. Why not just drop by or call?

 

[bogey21]

I asked my Son (age 38) why he always communicates by texting. His answer is that it enables him to avoid prolonged conversations. Of course he has to communicate with me by voice as I have text messaging blocked on my clam shell...

George

 

[Luanne]

I asked my Son (age 38) why he always communicates by texting. His answer is that it enables him to avoid prolonged conversations. Of course he has to communicate with me by voice as I have text messaging blocked on my clam shell...

George

I (68), my sister (65) and my bff (67) communicate by text. I also communicate by text with my older dd. We do it because people aren't always available when you call. Sometimes it's easier to leave a text message than someone can retrieve and then get back to you, when you might not be available. And yes, I also do talk to these people by phone as well. But, for a quick message, text works.

 

[Cornell]

One GREAT thing about technology....my mother is 86 and has dementia. She thinks she's "fine" and doesn't like anyone checking in on her. But of course us kids do. She plays Words With Friends on her iPhone (which is like Scrabble) against us kids. One of us will play a move against my mom in the morning and then when she returns the play we know "OK - Mom is up and ok today!". It's a subtle way of seeing what's going on w/her w/o bugging her (which she'd hate).

 

[uaremymuse]

I didn't answer your questions ("Are you a stay at home mom?" "Is there a stay at home dad"?) because they are completely irrelevant , none of your business, and contain thinly (maybe not so thin) veiled judgement.

Actually none of the questions are irrelevant where child rearing is concerned and they have absolutely nothing to do with making a judgement about you. After all, we don’t know each other. To the extreme, go into the poorer neighborhoods of our country where kids don’t have both parents or the parents that they do have are on welfare, use drugs, are routinely unemployed or are involved in other nefarious activities, much less have books in their homes for their children and then tell me it’s irrelevant if a parent is or isn’t at home with their children. I don’t know you nor you me so the questions are hardly personal in nature. However, having been in the school counseling business for 30 plus years I can tell you first hand that children are being negatively effected by their parents decisions to give them smart phones because its a huge distraction at the very least and then the parents have the audacity to ask us for help with their non communicative and unfocused children. It is detrimentally effecting their kids communication skills and relationships. Are there exceptions? Of course there are and maybe you’re lucky enough to be one of them. Most parents give their kids phones for several reasons, fear that their child will feel embarrassed or left out and the parents’ desire not to have to spend a lot of time being a parent. Parents always say they do it for security reasons as a cover story but that’s only a small part of their rationale. Millions of people grew up without cellular phones for centuries and it didn’t effect their ambitions or character. So given the choice of giving a child a phone with all of the potential negative aspects of doing that vs having a kid who hates their parents momentarily for not doing so, I’d always recommend the later given my broad experience with children and parents. Having a cell phone is irrelevant to one’s educational desires and pursuit of happiness. Show me one kid who graduates with honors from a top school or who becomes successful where the first thing they say when asked “to what do you attribute your success” and they say, “I have my cell phone to thank for my success.” It just doesn’t happen. It’s a tool to be used responsibly and kids inherently are not developed enough to make responsible decisions where a phone and its potential distractive nature is concerned. There’s simply no loss whatsoever to the child’s development in waiting until they are 18 to give them a cell phone.

It was not my intent to offend you, if I did. We simply disagree on this topic and I have a plethora of statistics to back up my philosophy on this topic


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[rapmarks]

I remember reading a novel by Dean Koontz many years ago where people turned into zombies attached to their computers.

 

[geist1223]

Children raised in wonderful families full of love and caring turn out well and some turn out horrible. Some children over come all the disadvantages of poor families with parents having none of the skills to be a parent and turn out to be wonderful people. Nature vs nurture. I will admit that it is better to be part of the first group than the second. My Mom dropped out of high school at 15. My Dad finished high school but no college. They never talked about college or the need for college. Yet 3 out of the 4 graduated from 4 year colleges and 1 from community college. 2 went on to post graduate degrees.

In my comment above about texts I am not talking about a single text to which you respond and it is over. Folks I know will engage in exchanging long texts back and forth for an hour or two. It could all be over in a 5 minute telphone call.

 

[missyrcrews]

No phones here. I have high school sophomores and an 8th grader. My 22 yr old got a phone when he went to college. They have tablets, and they have chromebooks at school. But no phones until they are driving. (*I* only have a pay as you go flip phone. And somehow I get through life fine.)

All of those apps or whatever they need for teams go through my husband's smart phone. We push back when coaches/teachers assume that kids have access to phones/internet. We live in a higher poverty district...and the truth is...some of these kids get their internet access at McDonalds or the library. Not cool to assume that everyone has internet at home.

Our middle school has a "no cell phone" policy starting this year. The phones will be locked up from arrival to departure. If the parent needs the kid, they can call the office.

In my opinion, phones give everyone such a false sense of security. In other words, people feel that because they CAN contact their child, their child will be safe. How I wish it were that simple.

 

[bluehende]

Actually none of the questions are irrelevant where child rearing is concerned and they have absolutely nothing to do with making a judgement about you. After all, we don’t know each other. To the extreme, go into the poorer neighborhoods of our country where kids don’t have both parents or the parents that they do have are on welfare, use drugs, are routinely unemployed or are involved in other nefarious activities, much less have books in their homes for their children and then tell me it’s irrelevant if a parent is or isn’t at home with their children. I don’t know you nor you me so the questions are hardly personal in nature. However, having been in the school counseling business for 30 plus years I can tell you first hand that children are being negatively effected by their parents decisions to give them smart phones because its a huge distraction at the very least and then the parents have the audacity to ask us for help with their non communicative and unfocused children. It is detrimentally effecting their kids communication skills and relationships. Are there exceptions? Of course there are and maybe you’re lucky enough to be one of them. Most parents give their kids phones for several reasons, fear that their child will feel embarrassed or left out and the parents’ desire not to have to spend a lot of time being a parent. Parents always say they do it for security reasons as a cover story but that’s only a small part of their rationale. Millions of people grew up without cellular phones for centuries and it didn’t effect their ambitions or character. So given the choice of giving a child a phone with all of the potential negative aspects of doing that vs having a kid who hates their parents momentarily for not doing so, I’d always recommend the later given my broad experience with children and parents. Having a cell phone is irrelevant to one’s educational desires and pursuit of happiness. Show me one kid who graduates with honors from a top school or who becomes successful where the first thing they say when asked “to what do you attribute your success” and they say, “I have my cell phone to thank for my success.” It just doesn’t happen. It’s a tool to be used responsibly and kids inherently are not developed enough to make responsible decisions where a phone and its potential distractive nature is concerned. There’s simply no loss whatsoever to the child’s development in waiting until they are 18 to give them a cell phone.

It was not my intent to offend you, if I did. We simply disagree on this topic and I have a plethora of statistics to back up my philosophy on this topic


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And yet again you stereotype whole groups of people and then use those stereotypes to prove your point.

If you climb down off that high horse you might realize that all of these issues are not so black and white and a lot of the people you judge are just doing the best they can given their situation.

 

[geist1223]

"I have a plethora of statistics to back up my philosophy on this topic"

Reminds me of a quote attributed to Mark Twain: "There are lies, damn lies, and then statistics."