Oh, I know what you mean. It's enough to make the pumpkin pie taste sour.
Our kids used to get along, until last Christmas, when a major blow up happened between all three of them. It has created a rift that hasn't mended. Holidays are going to be tough this year. One of our kids has always just taken everything on the chin, kind of just took it, when the others said thing that were hurtful, but this last year, that child decided to be defensive, got agitated, started playing a game on the cell phone.
Unfortunately, one of our kids is a gossip and won't stop slamming the others to me. I am not going to gossip about any of my kids or their kids or their spouses. That child makes some good points about the others and their spouses, but I don't want to engage in nasty gossip, and now there is a major rift between that child and me because I told that child that I wouldn't continue with those kinds of conversations.
Notice how I was gender neutral.
All of my kids are fairly successful at life, but admittedly, there are flaws and resentment with all of them toward one another. Three kids, three different personalities, and then add in spouses, including one that is fiercely constantly defending one of the kids, and we have a dynamic that will make the holidays tough this year.
I know my DIL would like to do holidays with her parents instead of us, and I have encouraged her to do it.
I wish we could all agree to do Christmas at our house every year, but we are rotating and it's Thanksgiving for us this year.