About To Lose My Job

[vacationhopeful]

My mantra was "One Dollar, Two Dollars, Three Dollars, Four Dollars, Five Dollars" ... then I would start counting over when doing a task I am NOT interested in.

Keep a cool head ... this is NOT your life. This is NOT who you are. It is a just a job.

And don't worry about what MAY HAPPEN in the future. Right now, you have a job. If you don't tomorrow, you have a husband and unemployment. Plus, less stress ... might mean better health. Losing a job does NOT MEAN the boss is chopping your head off or your right hand.

 

[IngridN]

I'm sorry for your job situation. Lots of good advice. I do have one comment...do NOT trust HR. HR exists to protect the company not the employee. Be very careful in your communications with HR.

 

[bluehende]

No one should have to go through this. I worked for a company that routinely pushed out older employees and lost lawsuits over it regularly. I know it is impossible but try to look on the bright side. The worst thing that can happen is you are fired and this stress leaves your life. You have done the right thing by contacting a lawyer while this is happening. My only piece of advice is to have everything at home. Many have told you to print or send emails to yourself to make sure you have access to them. Great advice. Also any paperwork that would establish your great employment record needs to be at home. Good luck and try to remain zen through the whole ordeal.

 

[VacationForever]

The new owner could have made things easier by laying off staff rather than trying to "performance manage" the staff out the door, making it miserable for everyone. The difference is that the company is liable to pay unemployment for the former while the latter is not. Horrible move by the new owner.

 

[vacationhopeful]

Unless you have worked for a EGO NUT and SELF-CENTERED JERK .. you could not understand how narrow their vision is. THEY are clueless that other people have feelings and rights. They are the boss and you do exactly as they say... or think ... or their telepathic way.

Clean up your resume ... network with other former co-workers (Facebook and private email accounts) ... opportunites do happen.

 

[linpat]

Echoes of what has already been said about good vibes to you in a lousy situation.
And I hope you have a lawyer who is tough enough to eat ground glass for breakfast and walk on hot coals for you.

 

[WinniWoman]

Thank you everyone. Excellent input from all. I actually spent most of today writing up past history and the incident, as well as filling in the lawyers' questionnaire. (16 pages altogether). Fun Sunday!

I am mentally drained and I am going to see what the attorney says and let everything play out. I wish they would have just laid me off instead of me having to go through this. It would have been so much easier to deal with.
Now the thought of continuing to work there makes me sick to my stomach.

I just keep telling myself- worse comes to worse - I could always call them at any point in time and say I am not coming back. But I would rather leave with something if I can.

To be continued.....tomorrow is Monday....ugh!

 

[Talent312]

You may not have "the goods" on your supervisor... like Kevin Spacy's character in "American Beauty"... but perhaps between you + your attorney can find enuff leverage for a decent severance package.

 

[Glynda]

Hope things are looking up at work tomorrow and I'm sorry you've had such a rough time with this new management.
You've received some good advice here...don't quit, keep emotion out of it, don't give them too much information about how you are feeling right now, document, document, document and print those notes, documents, emails, texts, etc., and take them home. I would also suggest not to procrastinate on removing/deleting anything you may have on your company computer that is/was for personal use. Keep your chin up!

 

[am1]

Sorry to hear about all this. I wish you the best and hope that your company does not find your postings on here. I would not check this website from work.

 

[geekette]

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you get a giant exit package. When I was downsized a few years ago there was a special extra payment for being above age 40. Try to get outplacement $ for retraining. Try to get them to continue to subsidize med ins. If they want you out for future cost savings, think about what bag of whatever you want to leave now and take up a lesser job for bennies elsewhere. Maybe not your field, maybe not your salary, but that's why you ask for more $ now.

Be careful dealing with HR, they do not work for you. Document everything is that discussion for your lawyer. Glad they pushed the idiot back in line, but that also means they are guarding against you to protect the company.

Try to keep your cool and carry on. It won't take long. Careful on not doing assignments, tho, as that could bite you worse. Nothing says you have to be particularly good at the crap work, tho. You do not need to make this jackass look good nor be the company work horse. Do your job while you collect a paycheck but no reason to go the extra mile.

Your revenge will be in living well after this job concludes. Go out with your dignity and integrity intact. And remember, everything is a choice and nobody can make you do anything that you don't want to.

Be strong, girl, we got your back!

 

[JudyH]

Good luck. I'm glad you got a lawyer. Hope he's a pit bull.

 

[1st Class]

Age used to be a good thing, signifying experience, wisdom and maturity, not a liability. I've seen this happen firsthand before, after several co-workers were victimized. Hang in there, keep a positive attitude and try to shake off the negativity being thrown your way. Tough as it may be, use your skills to your advantage and keep demonstrating your value to the company. You don't need to add fuel to their fire. I agree with the others re: documenting everything. Go to friends, family and TUG family for support. Confide in no one at work. Good luck to you.

 

[ace2000]

Good luck to Mary Ann. A lot of good advice given so far, but the only thing I'd add is to take emotions out of the equation as much as possible. Try to start fresh, because things start to bother you more and more in the workplace throughout the years, and tend to snowball. Take a step back, and determine what you're willing to put up with - your best option might be just making it work for a few more years. A candid conversation with your new boss/old coworker could clear the air and give you a new start. There have been a few times where I've been overwhelmed with negativity in the workplace, and looking back, it turned out to be nothing. Only you know the extent and magnitude of what you're having to deal with.

 

[nomoretslt]

I agree with the good advice here. I'll give you a quick review of what happened to me. Worked as an admin for a really great corporate VP lawyer. He retired, they replaced him with an "outsider". This guy was an egomaniac and (in my opinion and many others) a sociopath. He was cheating on his wife and expected me to cover for him. He was also making sexually suggestive remarks to me. I was much older than him so I know he wasn't "interested", he was just trying to make me uncomfortable. He told me a terrible story about something he did to somebody (and it was a true story, as I did a little research). I started printing out e-mails and documenting things, talked with HR and with our HR attorney (who reported to him.....so figured out the hard way that she was not my "friend"). My HR rep kept a written record of my complaints. Things got so bad emotionally for me that I had to take a medical leave. Long story short, my HR rep left the company, I did visit a couple of different lawyers (all they wanted to know was if he "touched" me). Learned that lawyers don't like suing other lawyers. Was informed by HR that there was no record of my complaints. I ended up letting my disability run out, and never returning to a job I once loved at the age of 52.

A few words of advice. I agree with all that said to take the emotions OUT of the situation. Looking back now, I'm really annoyed with myself for letting him "win". But at the time, my health was suffering, I was extremely depressed, the commute was a nightmare. I was making a really great salary and was building up an impressive 401K and pension. My situation was different, though. My husband had a good job with benefits, so there was no issue about health insurance. My 401k and pension was protected. And as it turned out, we had one family health issue after another and the task of elder care and caring for a couple of other extended family members fell on me since I wasn't "working". No way I could have done that while working full time, so in the end it worked out for us.

I would send HR an email listing the things you spoke about and asking them to verify what was discussed (or ask your lawyer if you should). Get up every morning and take some time to think about the positive things regarding your situation. Try to stick it out. I would not quit unless and until you have discussed the situation at length with your lawyer. You cut off too many options that way. Be pleasant to your new boss and co-workers. DO NOT discuss your plans, complaints, etc. to anyone you work with. DO NOT use your work computer to do anything personal (facebook, twitter, shopping, discussion forums). Do your work as if you loved every minute of it. I like the Mantra idea...Each hour that goes by is an hour closer to reach your own retirement goal.

Believe me, I know exactly what you are going through. I'm glad you have a lawyer and are being proactive about your situation. Sorry this is so long....looking back I believe I made a mistake by not sticking it out, but like you, at the time I thought I was going to have a breakdown. Oh, and they did finally terminate him....but it took them many years. Kind of hard to get rid of a lawyer.

Good luck to you.

 

[geekette]

Mary Ann, it seems to me that you don't take much time off, there was a big hoo hah over a trip planned for a long time. If you have time in the bank, take some. Your mental health is very important, guard it.

 

[am1]

I could not go to a place that did not want me. My time and well being is too valuable. Some could say I give up too easily but what I did was right for me. No plans to ever work for a company again and only really worked a real job for 2 weeks and quit. I had jobs in high school/university. I had a better option at the time that easily justified it.

On the same hand I do not think that an employer should have to keep someone they do not want. If they are not a good fit for the company (even if it is because the company is sold/management changes) then they should be let go with a mandated or better severance package. If someone who happens to be hungrier, possibly younger, willing to work for less money is out there the company should go after them. Just the same as in pro sports. Thankfully I only use other companies or what would be considered 1099's.

 

[WinniWoman]

Mary Ann, it seems to me that you don't take much time off, there was a big hoo hah over a trip planned for a long time. If you have time in the bank, take some. Your mental health is very important, guard it.

I get 28 PTO days per year and they are all planned out between my 3 weeks of timeshares and my one week Home Away rental as well as the day after Thanksgiving and XMAS week (a few days of which we go to New Hampshire to be with out son). Heaven forbid an emergency or illness comes up- then I have another problem with my employer. As it is they took one PTO day from me- even though I asked to not be paid- during a bad snowstorm when I couldn't get in- and I did try. The former CEO said he would give it back to me and take the pay-= but never did as it happened just when this new company took over. When THEY close the office- they do allow a non paid day or you have to take a PTO day. I have already had one of those.

(And- yes- the big hoo ha in the past was that I have 2 consecutive weeks (my timeshare ownerships) in the summer and the ex- boss kept telling me the company frowns on employees taking 2 weeks in a row. Meanwhile, a couple of other employees take 2 weeks in a row. To me- this is non negotiable; I took them anyway with no issue.).

 

[WinniWoman]

I agree with the good advice here. I'll give you a quick review of what happened to me. Worked as an admin for a really great corporate VP lawyer. He retired, they replaced him with an "outsider". This guy was an egomaniac and (in my opinion and many others) a sociopath. He was cheating on his wife and expected me to cover for him. He was also making sexually suggestive remarks to me. I was much older than him so I know he wasn't "interested", he was just trying to make me uncomfortable. He told me a terrible story about something he did to somebody (and it was a true story, as I did a little research). I started printing out e-mails and documenting things, talked with HR and with our HR attorney (who reported to him.....so figured out the hard way that she was not my "friend"). My HR rep kept a written record of my complaints. Things got so bad emotionally for me that I had to take a medical leave. Long story short, my HR rep left the company, I did visit a couple of different lawyers (all they wanted to know was if he "touched" me). Learned that lawyers don't like suing other lawyers. Was informed by HR that there was no record of my complaints. I ended up letting my disability run out, and never returning to a job I once loved at the age of 52.

A few words of advice. I agree with all that said to take the emotions OUT of the situation. Looking back now, I'm really annoyed with myself for letting him "win". But at the time, my health was suffering, I was extremely depressed, the commute was a nightmare. I was making a really great salary and was building up an impressive 401K and pension. My situation was different, though. My husband had a good job with benefits, so there was no issue about health insurance. My 401k and pension was protected. And as it turned out, we had one family health issue after another and the task of elder care and caring for a couple of other extended family members fell on me since I wasn't "working". No way I could have done that while working full time, so in the end it worked out for us.

I would send HR an email listing the things you spoke about and asking them to verify what was discussed (or ask your lawyer if you should). Get up every morning and take some time to think about the positive things regarding your situation. Try to stick it out. I would not quit unless and until you have discussed the situation at length with your lawyer. You cut off too many options that way. Be pleasant to your new boss and co-workers. DO NOT discuss your plans, complaints, etc. to anyone you work with. DO NOT use your work computer to do anything personal (facebook, twitter, shopping, discussion forums). Do your work as if you loved every minute of it. I like the Mantra idea...Each hour that goes by is an hour closer to reach your own retirement goal.

Believe me, I know exactly what you are going through. I'm glad you have a lawyer and are being proactive about your situation. Sorry this is so long....looking back I believe I made a mistake by not sticking it out, but like you, at the time I thought I was going to have a breakdown. Oh, and they did finally terminate him....but it took them many years. Kind of hard to get rid of a lawyer.

Good luck to you.

Wow! That is some story! There really are a lot of dirt bags out there!

People will think I am crazy, but last evening I was able to decompress by reading over parts of a very inspirational astrology book I have. Going into work today- I was ZEN. I was calm and I decided on a quit date- changeable depending on what transpires or what the attorney says. And naturally if I get fired instead. This made me feel better. Based on my astrology, I will look at it as an adventure.

I decided I would not sit at that desk for 8 hours in a dark hot room punching in those numbers. I would start the day- which was nice and sunny- going to a few of our clients and then go back into the office and do some of that data entry. Then I got up and took a 15 minute walk outside and came back and did some more. Then I had lunch. Then I did some more and then I went out in the field again and went home. The terrorist boss did not speak to me at all today so it made things go smoothly for me. I took my time with everything- no hurries and no worries. No sense of urgency. Just steadily did my thing.

I do not have health insurance with this company right now, but would need it for a year (2 more years from now) when my husband retires so he wouldn't have to work an extra year. Plus- a lot of layoffs have been going on at his company this past year so we never feel secure. I have no pension. My husbands' pension was cut off at the knees.

As for the attorney- I have not officially retained him/her yet. They have my written information and I am now awaiting them to review it to see what- if anything- can or should be done and what the fees would be if something could.

I am always pleasant to everyone. It is my job to be so. And I never do anything personal on the company computer- and they have Facebook and all social media blocked. On the company cell phone- I do not have apps. I use the internet to check my home email and Facebook and sometimes TUG! and then I sign out and clear up everything everyday on it.

 

[Egret1986]

Great job, Mary Ann!

 

[geekette]

Outstanding!

For me, once I know I'm leaving, it eases the stress and it sounds like having a date in mind has done same for you.

Well done, Zen is where to be, keep doing that for yourself.

For health ins, why not call the insurer and ask if they have private policies similar to what you have and what it would cost. I personally am hoping the concierge model takes hold here but expect until it does, I will be calling all over town to comparison shop. Please consider that a secondary issue, the most important thing is emerging from current trauma with Self intact. Stress is horrible on a person, do whatever necessary to stay in your Zen Zone.

 

[WinniWoman]

Outstanding!

For me, once I know I'm leaving, it eases the stress and it sounds like having a date in mind has done same for you.

Well done, Zen is where to be, keep doing that for yourself.

For health ins, why not call the insurer and ask if they have private policies similar to what you have and what it would cost. I personally am hoping the concierge model takes hold here but expect until it does, I will be calling all over town to comparison shop. Please consider that a secondary issue, the most important thing is emerging from current trauma with Self intact. Stress is horrible on a person, do whatever necessary to stay in your Zen Zone.

Thanks. I do not need health insurance as long as my husband keeps his job. I am covered under his policy. The issue will be when he retires 2 years from now and I will be only 64, therefore not eligible for Medicare.

 

[DeniseM]

I am also shopping for health insurance, and a knowledgeable agent told me that sometimes COBRA is better and cheaper than what you can buy on the open market, so I am looking into that.

 

[VacationForever]

I am also shopping for health insurance, and a knowledgeable agent told me that sometimes COBRA is better and cheaper than what you can buy on the open market, so I am looking into that.

COBRA is tied directly to former employment, rates are whatever that employer's group rates are, which are typically cheaper and with better coverage than what is available in the individual market or ACA. It must be bought immediately upon separation of employment and can be bought for between 18 months to 36 months, depending on employer staff size.

 

[mrsstats]

Just want to say how sorry I am that you have to go thru this.