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Downsizing your home?

bbodb1

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Wife won't move or downsize.
That caused a divorce for one of our previous neighbors. Except it was the husband who didn't want to make any changes, so wife said "So long".
 

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We downsized almost 10 years ago (well before retirement) and haven't ever had second thoughts about it. Our kids lived thousands of miles away on both coasts, and didn't need/want any extra "stuff", so when I finished renovating a derelict little (1,600sf) Arts & Crafts native stone home in town that I'd fallen in love with, we had a huge estate sale and gave all the proceeds to our local food bank. We only had to move out what we wanted, and the estate sale company took care of everything else - down to thoroughly cleaning the 6,600sf McMansion for the new owner. It was by far the easiest move we've ever made.

EXCEPT....now that DH is retired, we're thinking about moving closer to our kids/grandkids, and that's proving impossible to figure out!

My two sons live just one block away.....how lucky can I be? But if they lived on different coasts.....and I could afford it.....I would offer to pay for their Xmas holiday somewhere nice....like a 5 or 6 bedroom house in Hawaii. Lots of opportunities to spend time together and make good memories at the same time.....what a nice problem to have. BTW.....I would also love to live in an Arts and Crafts home.
 

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I have no words of insight or wisdom to share; I am going through very much the very same thought processes (and the same angst) right now myself. I really like the town I live in, which is why I bought 1.5 acres and designed and built a house here in 1983 and stayed here since then. However, over those nearly 35 years, my little town has become very much "gentrified" (to my great dismay, not pride). If I sold my house, I likely could not afford to buy any place I'd even want to live in if I remained within my own town. Joining all the elderly folks driving around clueless in Florida is not a scenario I can see in my crystal ball.

A bigger problem I'm having is really inside my own head. I designed our house myself and a lot of blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice, both physical and financial, went into constructing it. I try to tell myself now all these years later "c'mon, it's just a building with four walls and a roof and the land it sits on", but there is somehow an emotional bond that I'm having great difficulty severing (at least for now). Maybe that sounds immature (or nuts), but it's the truth nonetheless.

God willing, I've got no more than 5-8 more years (if that) of sufficient physical ability, agility and / or energy to maintain a house and grounds of this size, so it will certainly be time to "fish or cut bait" in the relatively near future. A good problem to have, I guess, still being in good health and with a happy and healthy family, all successful and off on their own, productively contributing to the world. Life is good!

Thanks for starting this thread Dave; I'll be watching it with great interest. :thumbup:
Yes, very interesting thread with big decisions to make. We love the coast and the mild climate of California but may have to leave this State if they really mean what they say they would like to do.

There is no way that we can live on the East Coast near the ocean where the climate is so humid. We have had high humidity here the last few weeks too and had to use the A/C and then your breath gets taken away when you go outside. Hardly any neighbors have A/C but we had to put it in. Our house is small so we do not need to downsize but we need to get rid of the clutter badly.
 

bbodb1

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I missed this one earlier....

... However, over those nearly 35 years, my little town has become very much "gentrified" (to my great dismay, not pride). If I sold my house, I likely could not afford to buy any place I'd even want to live in if I remained within my own town. Joining all the elderly folks driving around clueless in Florida is not a scenario I can see in my crystal ball....

Theo,

Would you please explain / expand on the bolded point?

It almost seem like you lament that you may not be able to afford a house in (or around) your neighborhood while at the same time appearing you don't want to stay there.
 

bbodb1

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Yes, very interesting thread with big decisions to make. We love the coast and the mild climate of California but may have to leave this State if they really mean what they say they would like to do.

There is no way that we can live on the East Coast near the ocean where the climate is so humid. We have had high humidity here the last few weeks too and had to use the A/C and then your breath gets taken away when you go outside. Hardly any neighbors have A/C but we had to put it in. Our house is small so we do not need to downsize but we need to get rid of the clutter badly.

Welcome to (just about) every Southern summer!
 

VacationForever

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Yes, very interesting thread with big decisions to make. We love the coast and the mild climate of California but may have to leave this State if they really mean what they say they would like to do.

We moved out of California because we cannot stand the craziness going in the state anymore. Not getting political here. We are watching as outsiders now as the CA legislators come up with something new each day. It is not just about taxes, but the whole package.
 

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Has anyone successfully downsized your home in the same town? By "successfully" I mean, have you actually disposed of excess possessions, and moved to a smaller place, without filling every corner of the smaller place with new or found items you feel you MUST have, until you're up to the rafters in "stuff" again - just with fewer square feet to store it? Were/are you HAPPY that you did that?

I'm a couple of years away from retirement, (spouse is seven years younger), and I've started looking at our home, all the stuff in it, asking myself "Do I/we really need/use/want that?" I like the house, (a very nice house, bought new 14 years ago), I like the town, and I'm happy to stay here. But I'm starting to question two people living in a 2000sf 2-story 3bed/2.5bath house with a quarter acre of urban yardwork, etc. Our two small dogs and an indoor cat are about the only others who ever see the place. Seems like they'd be just as happy in a smaller location.

I recently heard that the days of "saving that for the kids" isn't all that popular anymore, as family heirlooms aren't as desirable, many millennials aren't interested in the furniture their parents or grandparents owned, and "possessions" (in whatever form) aren't generally as much in demand for the succeeding generations. They have their own stuff they're trying to get rid of. So Baby Boomers are trying to unload their stuff, but so are their kids. And the grandkids have their own stuff.

So then I think, "I should look at a two bedroom condo someplace nearby," but I find nothing affordable that I'd consider living in. So I keep coming back to staying right where I am. For the money, this seems like the best bang for the buck.

And therein lies the problem. Every time I clean the house or mow the yard, I wonder if it's all just getting to be too much. So, is it possible to successfully downsize? Are you happy for doing that, and what would you do differently? What is your story, good or bad?

Dave

Dave,

That is my goal, I was the administrator / executor of my grandmothers will and just sold her house. I took me a year before I could sell it because she had shit piled up to the rafters keeping things she thought either her children, grandchild or great grandchildren wanted. Nope, none of us wanted anything and it fell to me to dispose of 800 bags of crap. After going thru that process, I looked at my house, and decided it's time for me to do the same thing.

Since one of my kids is completely done with school and on his own and the 2nd son has just one more year left of school and the youngest just graduated high school and is starting college in the fall, I want to downsize.

I'm about 10 years away from retirement and by downsizing, this will allow me to save more for retirement and get the house cleaned and de-stashed prior to the age that it's harder for me to move around...I want no extra stuff anymore
 

Sugarcubesea

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We downsized almost 10 years ago (well before retirement) and haven't ever had second thoughts about it. Our kids lived thousands of miles away on both coasts, and didn't need/want any extra "stuff", so when I finished renovating a derelict little (1,600sf) Arts & Crafts native stone home in town that I'd fallen in love with, we had a huge estate sale and gave all the proceeds to our local food bank. We only had to move out what we wanted, and the estate sale company took care of everything else - down to thoroughly cleaning the 6,600sf McMansion for the new owner. It was by far the easiest move we've ever made.

EXCEPT....now that DH is retired, we're thinking about moving closer to our kids/grandkids, and that's proving impossible to figure out!

One of my good friends when she retired moved closer to her two kids who were living in Nevada and Arizona at the time she moved to Arizona, 5 years later both kids moved again because of job transfers and now she is further from them then she would have been had she not moved.
 

bbodb1

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One of my good friends when she retired moved closer to her two kids who were living in Nevada and Arizona at the time she moved to Arizona, 5 years later both kids moved again because of job transfers and now she is further from them then she would have been had she not moved.

But she is in Arizona.....some parts of that state look mighty appealing....Flagstaff for example.
 

Luanne

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One of my good friends when she retired moved closer to her two kids who were living in Nevada and Arizona at the time she moved to Arizona, 5 years later both kids moved again because of job transfers and now she is further from them then she would have been had she not moved.
We decided we weren't going to move based on where our daughters were. Daughter number one is now married and living in Silicon Valley, CA. They have talked about moving to the Seattle area, or maybe Dublin, Ireland for awhile. Daughter number two is in graduate school in Vancouver, BC. She will most likely go where the job is after she completes her program. They both told us when we started talking about moving that we needed to do what WE want. Luckily they like visiting us here. :)
 

bbodb1

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Scottsdale is better. :p

I assume you used the pink dude since Scottdale is currently hitting about 100 on the thermometer (and the dude is roasting!)....currently 65 in Flagstaff!
 

VacationForever

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I assume you used the pink dude since Scottdale is currently hitting about 100 on the thermometer (and the dude is roasting!)....currently 65 in Flagstaff!
Don't know what is pink dude. But I can tell you 100 or 115 really is not too bad. It is better than I expected. I am experiencing my first hot summer and it really is not bad. We did just spend 2 weeks in San Diego and several more getaways to Big Bear Lake / Mountain before summer is up.
 

PamMo

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Yeah, we're a family with generations full of wanderlust, so are keenly aware that a move might be temporary at this stage. We know couples who moved close to their kids, only to have them move away for career opportunities (which I think is good thing, BTW). Luckily, we like both areas where our kids live, and real estate would be a decent investment in either, if we're careful about what we buy. For the next 10 years or so, if we're blessed with good health, we plan to use the house as a home base for travel around the world.

In the meantime, we feel fortunate to be able to gather everyone in our timeshares at least once a year, and we spend months on each coast. And gratefully, our grandkids love spending time with us, so we take them on summer road trips to explore this beautiful country of ours. It's silly - we're 60-year-olds who just bought a minivan for the grandkids!!!! :D
 
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WinniWoman

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I have no words of insight or wisdom to share; I am going through very much the very same thought processes (and the same angst) right now myself. I really like the town I live in, which is why I bought 1.5 acres and designed and built a house here in 1983 and stayed here since then. However, over those nearly 35 years, my little town has become very much "gentrified" (to my great dismay, not pride). If I sold my house, I likely could not afford to buy any place we'd even want to live in if we remained within our own town. Joining the hordes of the elderly driving around (...badly and often entirely clueless) in Florida is not a scenario that I can imagine ever seeing in our crystal ball.

A bigger problem I'm having is really inside my own head. I designed our house myself and a lot of blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice, both physical and financial, went into constructing it. I try to tell myself now all these years later "c'mon, it's just a building with four walls and a roof and the land it sits on", but there are several decades of family history and many happy memories residing there too. There is somehow an emotional bond that I'm having great difficulty severing (at least for now). Maybe that sounds immature (or nuts), but it's the truth nonetheless. In addition, who wants to just walk away from the friends, the unique New England Yankee culture and the community of which you've been an integral part for decades? Not me, at least so far, as age 70 looms ever closer.

God willing, I've got no more than 5-8 more years (if that) of sufficient physical ability, agility and / or energy to maintain a house and grounds of this size, so it will certainly be time to "fish or cut bait" in the relatively near future. A good problem to have, I guess, still being in excellent health and with a happy and healthy family starting new families of their own, all of them happy and successful and off on their own, productively contributing to the world. Life is good!

Thanks for starting this thread Dave; I'll be watching it with great interest. :thumbup:


I totally relate. Due to a poor market, our updated house wont sell for what we need to move near our son who lives in another state.

Right now we can't move anyway because we have to work until the dreaded 66+ full retirement age.

However, going through the remodeling process these past 5 years we have definitely cleaned out the place and simplified- trying to get hubby to do more in the garage- his domain. I keep telling him he can't take all this stuff to the nursing home!!!
 

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Theo,
Would you please explain / expand on the bolded point?

It almost seem like you lament that you may not be able to afford a house in (or around) your neighborhood while at the same time appearing you don't want to stay there.

Not so. I am quite content (and for now, committed) to stay where I am, where we willfully chose to settle down, but I am realistic enough to realize that maintaining such a large house and grounds will soon enough be neither practical nor physically possible. I guess I perceive "downsizing" and "downgrading" as being very distinctly different from one another, if that makes any more sense than my original observations.

My comment about "lamenting" the "gentrification" of my town was not really about "being able to afford to stay" (I certainly can) but more a reflection / observation that what was once a quiet little coastal New England town has now been "discovered". As is often the case, affluent new arrivals (virtually all of them from the next generation) drive the real estate values (including mine) into the stratosphere. That's great, but sadly the offspring of working locals whose families have been here for many generations now simply cannot afford to buy or live here. That is what I "lament". Additionally, it seems that the affluent new arrivals also frequently want to import and impose their own will and values upon their newly adopted community. I suppose it is their prerogative (to try), but some people (among whom I certainly number myself) do not necessarily appreciate or welcome that imported ideology and value system and may in fact bristle at attempts to force feed its' introduction upon unwilling others. That is what I really intended to convey, perhaps not articulately.
 
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bbodb1

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Thank you for the additional insight, Theo. I understand completely. When we retire, I hope to find some place small (cool temps and near mountains) that we can enjoy because of the place's uniqueness. I would hate to move someplace only to then see that place change.

I have never understood why people move to an area for all its charms and attractions only to then try and change that area. Why move there in the first place?

That is probably one factor that is making our decision on where to relocate to when we retire so difficult. It is hard to get an accurate read on a town over the course of a one week stay.
 

vacationhopeful

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Yes, I am downsizing. My old residence has been up for sale about 6 months now. A few lookers each week but the value is the 3.5 acres of ground in a desirable town with excellent schools. I moved out beforehand ... for my personal reasons. Close to Theo's logic.

My realtor's last communication was pitching an idea: 2 other agents in her office (technically her brother owns the office) want to subdivide OFF 2 lots .... for them to BUILD their dream homes. While they will PAY the costs to subdivide, I will pay all the carrying costs for keeping the property off the market (my "pulled out of the air" costs might be a few thousand dollars of direct costs) for 6 months .... except in my state, if I (as the owner) gets DENIED, I can't reapply for the same or similar subdivision in the future. Mind you, I know the town will ADD in their own conditions (like improvements like NEW curbs, sidewalks, sewer extensions, house setbacks, even street pavings). And they are NOT making an offer or mentioning "How much they will PAY ME for these 2 said lots."

And these are real estate sales people ... and 15-17 years ago, my sister's friend purposed a similar offer to HER as the executor of our father's estate.
 

vacationtime1

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My realtor's last communication was pitching an idea: 2 other agents in her office (technically her brother owns the office) want to subdivide OFF 2 lots .... for them to BUILD their dream homes. While they will PAY the costs to subdivide, I will pay all the carrying costs for keeping the property off the market . . . . . And they are NOT making an offer or mentioning "How much they will PAY ME for these 2 said lots.

It sounds like your realtor is working for your realtor and not for you.

Or maybe your realtor is working for this person who wants you to take your house off the market so they can try to get subdivision approvals at no cost or risk to them.

No firm offer -- or even an option agreement with a non-refundable payment to secure that option? And your realtor is seriously pitching this idea?

Perhaps you need a new realtor.
 

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Sadly, the offspring of working locals who have been here for several generations can no longer afford to buy or live here
I was thinking more about this and looking around my own neighborhood as I did. I'm also still near enough to the neighborhood where we bought our first house as well and the price differences are considerable between the two neighborhoods. I can't see a young couple owning where we do now, but at least in Arkansas homeownership for the young couple is still possible.

Whether it is practical is another consideration entirely - especially given the current job market situation.
 

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I find that selling a home fast is better than waiting. The recent 3 homes that my realtors sold for me... first sold within 1 week of listing with 3 similar offers, second sold within 1 day with 1 offer, third (most recent) was sold after 48 days. The third had 4 offers throughout the listing period, none of their offers were close to what I really wanted (their offers were 60K below asking), the first 3 offers wanted to resell their newly bought home to buy mine. My home was listed $600K below actual cost - it was a really special home, and really a steal but not in a prime location. The 4th offered cash and closed in 10 days. I took the 4th offer as it is better to have the money in my bank quickly and let it grow than to sit on an empty home which was bleeding money with each day. There are all kinds of stories about squatters breaking into empty homes.
 
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klpca

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We bought our current home 30 years ago. Say what you want about CA (and I am so sad that some feel so negatively about it) but our real estate values have quintupled in our area, while our property taxes have remained quite stable. We have a beautiful home with a panoramic view that is loaded with happy family memories. Our extended family has lived in the area since the 1940's. We talk about moving to a smaller home but can't find one with a comparable view. So for now, we are staying put. Our next move will be our last, as you get a one time tax base transfer in CA once you turn 55.

I am a regular purger. We just spent the last two weekends clearing out the garage. Closets are next. Very little is safe from being purged. :D My personal philosophy is that you should own things, they shouldn't own you. If it doesn't bring me personal happiness, I try to give/sell it to someone who would be happy to own it. I recently sold/gave away leftover tile from past home improvement jobs. I can't believe that others wanted it, but it was taken as fast as I listed it! I even put out odds and ends on the driveway for free and someone picked it up! And (drumroll please) I was able to give away my baby grand piano that hasn't been touched in 20+ years!!
 

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It sounds like your realtor is working for your realtor and not for you.
Or maybe your realtor is working for this person who wants you to take your house off the market so they can try to get subdivision approvals at no cost or risk to them.
No firm offer -- or even an option agreement with a non-refundable payment to secure that option? And your realtor is seriously pitching this idea?

Perhaps you need a new realtor.

I had already thought of that 2+ weeks ago. And I had 3 other RE agencies thru the house and to pitch me their ideas in that time. Now, I just got to move ahead without distractions from my day job.
 

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I had already thought of that 2+ weeks ago. And I had 3 other RE agencies thru the house and to pitch me their ideas in that time. Now, I just got to move ahead without distractions from my day job.

You will probably make more money selling your property for the right price than you will earn from your day job.

So don't let your day job distract you from maximizing the net sales proceeds from your property.
 
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