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Life After Quitting My Job

Discussion in 'TUG Lounge' started by mpumilia, Dec 6, 2018.

  1. mpumilia

    mpumilia TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    Well, upon other Tugger's suggestions, I started a new thread off the "About To Lose My Job" one. That one is history- beaten into the ground. Time to move on.

    One of my ex coworkers sent me a text and said the employer is having a XMAS party at 6pm on the 21st and because she and another employee work evenings at the front desk he wanted to know if they A) don't want to get paid and come to the party (which is being held in the employee lunchroom) or B) do they want to work the evening shift and get paid? (No joke).

    Then later on she said it got better They changed the date of the party to the 19th and said they are not having it catered and wanted everyone to cook something.

    Don't you just love this kind of holiday spirit in the workplace?

    Anyway, it has been 2 months since I resigned and I must say it has gone fast. I have not done anything special at all. Just living life day to day without having to cram the activities of daily living into evenings and weekends. I laugh when people ask me how I spend my time, as if there is something special I should be doing every day.Then they ask me other things- like my plans. I tell them I already did a lot in 46 years of working! Why the hell do I have to do anything at all other than live? LOL!

    I was able to take my time and do some Fall chores around the house, though the weather was awful- incredibly rainy. I did have 2 lunch dates with two friends that live a bit far from here. We picked a middle point to meet. That was enjoyable.

    I was doing my daily walking and litter pick up on our road (which never ends). And I have been trying to deal with the town and DEC regarding the flooding issue on our property.

    Not having that paycheck I am watching our spending like a hawk and cutting back on some things in the budget. So I work on that- shopping car insurance, etc. heck- I always said I was a homemaker- that is my work- there is plenty to do. I always said I had no time to work!

    I also spend a lot of time researching things and reading. Hubby had open enrollment and we had to make decisions about his HSA (not contributing next year) and Medicare. Still have more learning to do. His employer is no longer providing paid life insurance or AD&D or contributing to the dental premium, so we are paying for that ourselves through his paycheck now. Never ends. And always gets worse on that front. Doesn't help that his salary is capped either. But at this point he still has his job, though it is very shaky now what is going on there.

    But we had some medical bills we had to lay out money for- my colonoscopy and my husband's eye surgery (angle closure glaucoma) and issues I have with my leg. (I had to drive my husband down to the eye doctor over one hour away at night in driving rain- 2 x- because the doc only does the procedure at the end of the day. Meanwhile, I have bad night vision- was very stressful for me.)

    I had some set backs health wise- nothing at all drastic but enough to slow me down - 1) with the side effects form the Shingles vaccine and 2) with a problem that arose with my left leg.

    The leg thing is getting me down because I am now slowly gaining weight and not used to not being able to go outside and walk (and I need it in this cold, winter weather) - I can't exercise the same way right now. Primary doc said it was muscular- ruled out DVT with an ultrasound, but I also went to an orthopedist today and he said he is sure it is a Baker's Cyst, gave me a cortisone shot and prescription med and ordered 6 weeks of physical therapy. He didn't think an MRI was necessary and I was happy to hear it as it would be another big bill. I turned down having the cyst aspirated for now. Figured that would be more money, and he said it might still be needed again at a later time, plus small risk to it, so I just went with the shot.

    I can't tell you how insane this is making me. Not being as mobile. Supposed to keep my leg elevated and iced. How much rest can I get? On my job, I was in constant motion, even though I was still overweight, at least I always moved around for the most part. I was out and about- in the fresh air and sun.

    I have an appt next week for the PT evaluation. I also have my standard annual appt with my GYN doc. I also am going to apply for disability off my private policy because the insurance company told me I do not have to be employed to qualify to put a claim in as long as I am under 65 years old and cannot do the activities involved in my last job. There is a 90 day waiting period (countdown would be 10/1 when this started) so theoretically I could be much better in a few weeks- or it could take longer, so I will put it in just in case.

    My last job I was in and out of the car 20 times per day- carrying things, walking through parking lots and up and down stairs, etc. Something I cannot do right now. I am using a cane for support. I feel like I am walking like I am 90 years old! Stairs are the worst! And hills- up or down. So I am going to give it a shot. If accepted, it would help financially right now until I heal.

    I will tell you, I never expected this. I hope I can get back to some kind of normalcy soon. This is not for me I can tell you that! (It reminds me of those stories of you hear that people retire and then they die or get very ill right afterwards.) I guess the litter is going to pile up on our road for now.

    Of course, the holiday just went buy and another one's coming up, which makes time go even faster. I love not working but still am worrying about the future financially.

    Meanwhile, the irony is if I was working and this leg thing would have happened to me, I wonder how that would have panned out? Funny how life is.....
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
  2. bbodb1

    bbodb1 TUG Member

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    Beaten into the ground......
    Or a TUG classic? :D
     
  3. b2bailey

    b2bailey TUG Member

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    Since I was one of those who requested a 'new' thread, thank you!
    :)
    I am sorry to hear of your health issues, and wondered the same thing about not being able to do your old job with your current leg trouble. Hoping the private disability policy kicks in for you.
     
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  4. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    You had no time to work, is right! Your plate is still very full. Slow down and breathe for a bit. It's all about pacing. :)

    I mentioned in another thread that I had abdominal surgery the first part of November. I took three weeks off work (I have a lot of sick days accumulated.) I expected I'd be laid up for most of that time. Not so. After less than a week I was off all pain meds, I was up and around, and as long as I was careful, I could do anything I felt up to doing. I was also bored to death. Some days I didn't even turn on the TV or my computer. I was amazed at how much time I found I had available. But I had to do something constructive.

    So I started clearing out the clutter at my house. It's amazingly cathartic. And as I moved things out, I cleaned everything around it. (When was the last time this refrigerator was cleared out, all the shelving and walls of the fridge washed, and then the cold stuff replaced, in an orderly fashion? I'm guessing NEVER...)

    I wasn't able to finish all the chores I wanted to do, and I still have plenty more junk to get rid of. I had to go back to work last week, but I now have a very clear idea of how the first part of my retirement days will be spent starting next Summer, when I hope to formally stop working. I'm looking forward to it!

    I hope you can find a balancing point between energy and activity. Good luck!

    Dave
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
  5. Bwolf

    Bwolf TUG Member

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    Hopefully, Mary Ann, things do get better. For so many of us, life seems to be a struggle. Happy Holidays to everyone!
     
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  6. pedro47

    pedro47 TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Wishing you better days. There is only person that can help you and will always have your back. That is God. Trust in Him and everything will be alright.
    .
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
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  7. Panina

    Panina TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    This all shall pass and then it will be much better. Thought with you for a speedy recovery.
     
  8. Talent312

    Talent312 Tug Review Crew: Rookie TUG Member

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    When my DW retired, she got bored and started volunteering for stuff.
    Now, she holds two treasurer's posts in local and district organizations.
    IOW, she does the same stuff she did while working but w/o getting paid.

    I say: "I'm retired. Now, it's me-time... and it's an endless weekend."
    .
     
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2018
  9. Timeshare Von

    Timeshare Von TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Mary Ann . . . I too hope the "leg thing" works out. I'm glad you're settling into retired life. And yes, some employers (companies & bosses) can really be clueless!
     
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  10. heathpack

    heathpack Tug Review Crew: Rookie TUG Member

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    I am currently listening to an audiobook called Getting Back to Happy by Marc and Angel Chernoff. The subject of the book is positive psychology, which is not just “positive thinking” but instead is the field of study of wellness (as opposed to illness) of the brain. This book in particular is about transitions in life- getting through/past life changes that make you stressed, overwhelmed, depressed etc and coming out in a better place in the end. You could maybe borrow it from the library but if you don’t have an Audible.com account you can sign up for a free trial and get the book for free that way. Might be a convenient way to access the book while you’re laid up.

    You might find this really helpful and you transition from your former life to your new one.

    Good luck!
     
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  11. Glynda

    Glynda TUG Member

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    I understand how a day can pass quickly once you stop working! I love my free time plus I've added classes at our Senior Center and volunteered at a nursing home for three years. I also volunteer for the Historic Charleston Foundation as a docent for their Spring tour of historic houses. On other days, taking my mother where she wants to go plus what I need to do fills the time quickly.

    I'm so sorry that you are experiencing health problems now that you are free to do more! I hope that gets resolved quickly!

    I'll be interested to read more about the Baker's cyst and what you end up doing for it. I have one my chiropractor discovered behind, and to the right side, of my right knee. Had ultrasound and the report was that it was a tumor. Had a MRI and the report was that it was a cyst. Go figure! I can't say if it caused pain or disability for me as I have other things going on. I was seeing the chiropractor for sciatica which he thought was causing me to have the usual sciatic pain plus some knee pain and what felt like hot poker shin splints burning just down the right side of my shin. Saw a Orthopedic surgeon who assured me I have a Baker's cyst and that it would probably go away. No draining mentioned. I had that before with a cyst on my head and the fluid just kept coming back and finally had to have it surgically removed. Ortho doc said my knee pain and burning shins was from my lower back problems and sciatica, but would give me a Cortisone injection in the knee and if the pain went away after a few day it was my knee! It did. No more shin burning, no knee pain. Till it wears off. He was so nonchalant about the Baker's cyst that I assumed it was from something else going on with my knee. Yet the reports show only a little arthritis in the knee. Hmmm...was it the cyst?
     
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  12. pedro47

    pedro47 TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    The only good things about retirement.; is for some of us retirees.
    Everyday is Saturday and Sunday or a National Holiday.:whooopie:
     
  13. Panina

    Panina TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    As my physical therapist told me the other day, take tests and you’ll almost always find something wrong in the back or knees. Everything is connected and a good doctor will not look at the obvious.

    My experience, damaged knees 25 years ago due to impact injury in a car accident. 21 years later knee was hurting, cortisone shot in knee did not work, four doctors said based on mri test I needed a knee replacement. This PT believed it was coming from my back so I went to a fifth doctor who agreed with the other four but when I pushed him I believed my knee pain was from my back, started testing me and then said it can be, let’s try PT on back instead of knee. Needle Therapy on back area and knee pain went away. No knee replacement yet.
     
  14. bluehende

    bluehende TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    I seem to be in PT a lot. I have usually found that physical therapists are some of the best and knowledgeable professionals that I have come across.
     
  15. mpumilia

    mpumilia TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    Right now I just ordered a cane on Amazon as I have been sitting in a car dealership for 2.5 hours waiting for a car inspection and door lock repair! Getting out of the SUV my old, hand carved wooden cane slid and hence my leg and- ouch! Evidently the rubber tip
    Must have come off! Well- all these hours at least I am keeping my leg elevated while waiting.

    Then I have an hour drive home and have to still food shop. A whole day will be gone!

    I guess the cortisone shot is not working- or the medicine. With my situation- the back of my leg- under the knee - hurts as well as my calf and shin.

    I am getting discouraged.

    I think half these doctors don’t know what they are doing. Really- my head hurts analyzing it.
     
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  16. Passepartout

    Passepartout TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    I realized a LONG time ago that half of doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class. Don't try to analyze it. Too many moving parts. Take it one day at a time. If someone offers you something you think you'd find interesting to do (preferably for some pay- too many want 'volunteers') it might give you something to occupy your mind. I picked up my last paycheck almost 10 years ago and can't remember being bored- or getting everything done that I think should be. Oh well.

    Keep up your spirits! We're with you.

    Jim
     
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  17. bbodb1

    bbodb1 TUG Member

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    Mary Ann,

    Among the many aspects I find interesting about your stories is this - I think we (speaking in general here) are never as prepared for changes in life as we would like to think we are. It's like a door we see at the end of a long hallway. We want to travel that hallway because we want to see what is on the other side of the door. We're curious. We are adventurers. We want to know things, go places, and experience all we can. But at the same time, we often find that when we get to where we thought we wanted to go it is not what we expected it to be. I'm not saying the reality is always better or worse, just never quite like one anticipates it.

    I'm suggesting that stages in life are a lot like this. As I think back through life, I can recall anticipating (what I perceived at the time) to be the next big thing (age, event of significance, etc) in life and anticipated it. But when the actual thing arrived, my preconception of what I thought might occur usually varied wildly from actually did occur. It has been (at times) a bit unsettling.
     
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  18. Panina

    Panina TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Whereas unsettling at times, for me, better then anticipated other times.

    Life is a mixed bag. I choose to be greatful for what my life is, looking at the good and accepting the bad is just part of the journey. Outlook to anticipate better is better then anticipating the worse. When it’s not what I expected it to be I deal with it then.
     
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  19. MOXJO7282

    MOXJO7282 Tug Review Crew: Rookie TUG Member

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    I was thinking about this the other day and it was a little strange to think about because now I'm so focused on a M-F 9-5 existence and am euphoric on Fridays and depressed on Mondays. So what happens in retirement? Are Friday not as great but Mondays not as bad in retirement? Or is every day like Friday? That could be a problem for me because Friday is the one day I like to unwind after a tough work week and usually have a few beers. If everyday is Friday in retirement I'm going to be drunk every day.
     
  20. Panina

    Panina TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    I enjoyed going to work but love retirement. I was worried at first what will I do. I do what I want, when I want, at least a large portion of my time. Seems when I retired family obligations increased for me as the others who were still working expected me to do what they use to.

    Your Friday can be on Monday, Tuesday any day you choose. You will be surprised how much of you day will pass by quicker then when you worked. Maybe when your happier and less stressed time flies by more quickly.
     
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  21. Talent312

    Talent312 Tug Review Crew: Rookie TUG Member

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    “Just remember, life is like a box of chocolates... [Y]ou eat all the ones you like, and the only ones left are the ones you don't like as much? I always think about that when something painful comes up. ‘Now I just have to polish these off, and everything'll be okay.’ Life is a box of chocolates.” -- From Norwegian Wood (1987) by Haruki Murakami

    -- Used in Forest Gump (1994), with: "You never know what you're gonna get."
     
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  22. Panina

    Panina TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    Chocolate makes everything seem better, except my weight.
     
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  23. Passepartout

    Passepartout TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    You DO need to temper that last impulse- though many retirees don't. Many start the evening with a 'cocktail hour' that can stretch out , or start earlier (It's 5 o'clock SOMEwhere).

    I have found that 'life unstructured' allows me to free-form my days. If I feel like working on a project for several days morning til night, that's OK, or If I feel like an afternoon siesta, that's OK too. But I find I lose track of what day it is. When DW was keeping regular office hours, I kept track (mostly) but since she is nearly as unstructured as I am, I find myself checking my phone for the day/date/time a lot more often.

    Have fun learning what works for you, but watch the happy hours.

    Jim
     
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  24. bogey21

    bogey21 TUG Member

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    I always seem to stay busy Monday thru Friday, wind down on Saturday and often find I am bored on Sunday. It has been that way since I stopped traveling 8 or 9 years ago...

    George
     
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  25. Krteczech

    Krteczech TUG Member

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    With only 12 months experience as a retired person I agree that it is very easy to loose track of what day it is. Yes, you are free to travel, work on projects, hike, read, but checking my wall calendar and phone became a new routine for me.

    Mary Ann, I hope your body heals fast and you can experience all what you were hoping for from your unstructured time.
     
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