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My Lucky Son.

Discussion in 'TUG Lounge' started by jjking42, Sep 30, 2019.

  1. jjking42

    jjking42 TUG Member

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    My oldest has done a great job of staying focused on his education. He will graduate in May 2020 with a degree in Aerospace engineering. Proud father moment.

    I asked him what he was planning on doing for his last spring break and he wasn't sure. He missed out on the Maui vacation this summer because he was doing an internship. He said he really wanted to go back to Hawaii one day because he hasn't been since he was 14. I told him I would try to help make that happen.

    I was able to get him 4 nights at Wyndham Beach Walk with my Wyndham points followed by 3 nights at the Sheraton Kauai Resort using star Options. They were saving up money to buy their own airline tickets.

    Southwest airlines released their March schedule on 9/26 and I was able to get all his flights including the island hop with my SW FF points.

    He wanted to pay me something since they had been saving up to pay for their own tickets. I told him the $ 300.00 each they had already saved would cover it. The cash price of the tickets would have been over $ 1,000.00 each.

    I also have him booked into the Manhattan club in June after graduation. Lucky Kid.
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2019
  2. SandyPGravel

    SandyPGravel Guest

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    Awesome dad too!

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
     
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  3. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    I agree - he's lucky, but maybe more because you're his Dad. Congrats to you both, Jim!

    Dave

    P.S. Adopt me? ;)
     
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  4. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Lifetime Member

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    Been to:
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    US: AZ, CA, DC, DE, IL, IN, KY, MD, NC, NJ, NV, NY, OH, OR, PA, SC, TN, TX, VA, WA, WV
    Congrats. You are a great dad. Both you and he deserve the vacation

    You pushed him. Both I (lawyer) and my older sis (doctor) both make six figures because our parents pushed us. My sister makes almost twice as much as I do. We didn’t appreciate it at the time but we do now.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
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  5. jjking42

    jjking42 TUG Member

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    I could not have done it without all that I have learned from Tug in the last 14 years. Still learning because my needs and the rules for maximizing you timeshare ownership keep changing. I bought my first resale in 2005 and without timeshares I would have never taken so many great vacations.
     
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  6. goaliedave

    goaliedave Guest

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    you charged your own son?! Do a lot of parents do that?

    Sent from my SM-J327W using Tapatalk
     
  7. SandyPGravel

    SandyPGravel Guest

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    Duplicate

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
     
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  8. SandyPGravel

    SandyPGravel Guest

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    He provided the flights too! It's not asking too much to pay part of the cost for a spring break trip. Sounds like he's giving a graduation trip later in the year.

    Sent from my SM-G960U using Tapatalk
     
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  9. goaliedave

    goaliedave Guest

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    so this is common practice in USA?!

    Sent from my SM-J327W using Tapatalk
     
  10. travelhacker

    travelhacker TUG Member

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    It’s a nominal cost. Maybe it’s uniquely American (because I didn’t bat an eye at it), but kids do like to feel a certain level of independence by contributing financially as they get older. It’s not uncommon for kids that are moving towards a more independent stage to offer to pay for things that may have been gifted in the past.

    I’m sure the son knows he isn’t covering the full cost of the vacation, but he gets the satisfaction of having helped contribute to the cost and the dad gets to feel like his son is becoming more independent.

    Lately I’ve gifted my parents a few vacations (who are capable of paying for them), and while they don’t want to refuse the gift by paying it back in full, they do make some of it up.

    Edit:
    I wouldn’t say it’s common, but certainly not rare, particularly among middle class families they realize a sacrifice is being made.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
  11. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    When I take my brother and his wife along on vacations, the timeshare portion is already paid, so I let them pay for the rental car. That way they feel they're contributing to the overall cost of things. We take turns buying meals out in restaurants and such, so it's a fair exchange that way. If my kids wanted to travel with us, I'd do the same. My son-in-law earns better money than I do.

    When my niece got married, I gave she and her husband a week's timeshare stay in Hawaii as their wedding gift. I told them they'd have to pay the rest. Other family members kicked in for airfare, and they paid for their own rental car. They had a fantastic time.

    Fair is fair. If someone has the means, paying for a portion of a vacation makes it more meaningful, I think. If everything is paid for, they might feel entitled to something for nothing.

    Dave
     
  12. goaliedave

    goaliedave Guest

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    so interesting! money exchanging hands between family members. I don't even know where to start questioning/commenting.

    Sent from my SM-J327W using Tapatalk
     
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  13. goaliedave

    goaliedave Guest

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    thank you, I agree with you, when sharing vacations together. But if they are going alone, whether wedding gift or just a regular gift, you wouldn't charge them a portion of your points value, surely?

    Sent from my SM-J327W using Tapatalk
     
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  14. goaliedave

    goaliedave Guest

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    just to be clear, no judgement cast on OP or anyone else. I'm only interested in whether it's common to use your points to book a vacation for a family member and then charge them a portion in cash.

    I'm a Christian and we're taught that everything we have is from God, to be shared freely as an expression of love, certainly amongst family members. If I needed to stay at the house of my son or sister or mother they wouldn't charge me rent, so I can't imagine charging them when I use my points to give them a vacation

    Sent from my SM-J327W using Tapatalk
     
  15. goaliedave

    goaliedave Guest

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    Sent from my SM-J327W using Tapatalk
     
  16. DaveNW

    DaveNW TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    I think it depends on the extent of the trip. In the OP's case, sending them somewhere, paying for everything, and then sending them somewhere else a few months later, sounds to me like a LOT of free rides. It's very generous, and is a wonderful things to do. But asking them to chip in for some of it, (based on what they can afford) means they'll be more committed to things, and they'll be invested in things going well. If they have nothing invested, it'd be easy to bail out on things, and not really care what it cost his Dad.

    Dave
     
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  17. Snazzylass

    Snazzylass Guest

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    I'm the same way with friends and family. Mi casa tu casa. And, we are all speculating, but if I read the OP correctly, his son offered to pay. It's not that the dad set out to charge his son. I think it's bargain for the son and his gf. So, the dad really is helping them. When my son was in college, he planned Spring Break trips with friends and other holiday trips. He paid his own way. He didn't ask to pay for his vacations. Hope this helps!
    By the way, may I ask where you live? Not the US? Just curious.
     
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  18. silentg

    silentg TUG Review Crew: Expert TUG Member

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    I think jjking is more than generous. A vacation like that for $300 each is absolutely fantastic!
    Silentg
     
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  19. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Lifetime Member

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    I’m a Christian too. So the college kid or teen doesn’t become a spoiled brat, I think they should contribute some costs. Otherwise, they will have an misunderstanding that the world will give them stuff for free.

    I have a nephew who demands $30 lunches/dinners, four star hotels, and big cruise ships, all for free that he doesn’t have to pay for. His family isn’t upper-middle class but apparently went into debt financing his wants for so long.

    He has never worked a day in his life. I’m charging him 1/6 of my MF from his allowance savings, to wipe that spoiled attitude away. If he doesn’t want to pay, he’s not coming to timeshare vacations with me.

    You know who is inheriting the OP’s estate? His children.
     
    Last edited: Sep 30, 2019
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  20. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Lifetime Member

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    Yes, especially if they don’t want spoiled, pampered sons.
     
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  21. Passepartout

    Passepartout TUG Review Crew: Veteran TUG Member

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    Different styles of parenting. Different cultures. Neither one is 'right' or 'wrong'. So it is what it is.
     
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  22. MabelP

    MabelP TUG Member

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    You are a very generous Dad. Congratulations on raising such an accomplished son. It is all the role modeling you did throughout the years. And rightfully, a proud Father. Basque in the moment...you deserve it.
     
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  23. Grammarhero

    Grammarhero Official TUGBBS Rescission Master TUG Lifetime Member

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    I’ve been wondering if my nephew was lucky. One one hand, he got everything he wanted for 16.5 years.

    On the other hand, as he is a good kid, there will be a time in which he becomes more self-aware and feel guilt, regret, and self-loathing over the burden he put his parents through.
     
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  24. geist1223

    geist1223 Guest

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    When Son #2 (but first to graduate) was a few months from college graduation Patti (not his mother) and I had pretty much decided what to give him for graduation. Then he called and asked if for his graduation would we buy airfare so he could go to Berlin for Spring Break with some friends. We gave him a choice ticket to Berlin (about $500 at the time) or forgiveness of personal loan ($3,000) Patti had made him from her personal funds his freshman year. After thinking about it he decided on the loan forgiveness. He made it to Berlin on his own.

    Son #1 (but second to graduate) was getting ready to graduate he was offer a week in any Worldmark any sized Unit or what his younger brother had received. His brother had never told him what he got but that it was with more than a ticket to Berlin. Son #1 took the option #2 and we went him a check.

    But as for charging kids for use of the parents' time share we have no problem with that.
     
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  25. jjking42

    jjking42 TUG Member

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    Note I removed some of my comments for privacy reasons. Sometimes I forget this is a public forum.

    I told him that I would provide the free timeshare and he said that they would save up and pay for their own tickets. I offered to give them free tickets to Arizona for a friends wedding and they declined. His girlfriend did not feel good about using my miles when she could afford her own ticket. She saved up 300.00 for the Hawaii tickets

    This is what I have learned. When you give somebody help you expect nothing in return. This way you are never disappointed and relationships don’t get messed up. If someone wants to pay you back gladly accept it because it makes them feel better about themselves.
     
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2019

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