• The TUGBBS forums are completely free and open to the public and exist as the absolute best place for owners to get help and advice about their timeshares for more than 30 years!

    Join Tens of Thousands of other Owners just like you here to get any and all Timeshare questions answered 24 hours a day!
  • TUG started 30 years ago in October 1993 as a group of regular Timeshare owners just like you!

    Read about our 30th anniversary: Happy 30th Birthday TUG!
  • TUG has a YouTube Channel to produce weekly short informative videos on popular Timeshare topics!

    Free memberships for every 50 subscribers!

    Visit TUG on Youtube!
  • TUG has now saved timeshare owners more than $21,000,000 dollars just by finding us in time to rescind a new Timeshare purchase! A truly incredible milestone!

    Read more here: TUG saves owners more than $21 Million dollars
  • Sign up to get the TUG Newsletter for free!

    60,000+ subscribing owners! A weekly recap of the best Timeshare resort reviews and the most popular topics discussed by owners!
  • Our official "end my sales presentation early" T-shirts are available again! Also come with the option for a free membership extension with purchase to offset the cost!

    All T-shirt options here!
  • A few of the most common links here on the forums for newbies and guests!

Vacations with adult children/blended families?

BarbmC

TUG Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2016
Messages
129
Reaction score
66
Points
138
Location
Phoenixville, PA
Resorts Owned
Marriott Ocean Club
Marriott BeachPlace
Marriott Vacation Club points owner
My husband and I each have 2 adult children. All but one of the adult children have significant others. My daughter has a husband and my grandson :) In 2020 DH and I both are having "big" birthdays (his is bigger) My birthday is in July - his is in August. I would really like to do something during the summer to have a celebration, a weekend or short vacation together. We are in New Jersey, kids are in Philadelphia, Washington and Pittsburgh. My husband is not thrilled about this idea, he does not like obligating the kids to "attend" a family vacation. We have been together 6 years, our kids were grown and out of the house - so they are really just acquainted with each other. I am curious if anyone has any advice - all ideas are welcomed.
 

bluehende

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
4,507
Reaction score
3,967
Points
598
For groups like this I always like Massanutten. Large easy to obtain units and a ton of stuff to do to suit all tastes. I will say I am partial as we love the outdoor activities there.
 

DrQ

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2005
Messages
5,818
Reaction score
3,802
Points
648
Location
DFW
Resorts Owned
HICV, Westgate (second cousin, twice removed)
I can't speak for blended families, but I think communication is the key. If you have a good relationship, talk with them about the possibility and see how they would feel about attending.

In our case, we had a significant anniversary and we floated the idea to the kids a year in advance for a get together. You are right in starting now. Just ask. Maybe get some ideas on where everyone might want to go.

In our case, we chose a place where the kids could go wander on their own adventures for a short time and we could gather for meals and lounging by the pool.
 

Passepartout

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
28,462
Reaction score
17,213
Points
1,299
Location
Twin Falls, Eye-Duh-Hoe
Just send welcoming invitations, with a date for RSVPs so that plans can be made for the number of attendees. We also have grown offspring, who also have their (and our own) issues of independence. Having everyone under one roof immediately brings out territorial and privacy issues we'd prefer to sidestep.

Jim
 

WinniWoman

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2010
Messages
10,762
Reaction score
7,057
Points
749
Location
The Weirs, New Hampshire
Resorts Owned
Innseason Pollard Brook
Smugglers Notch is a great resort for things like this as well. They assist with family reunions, weddings and such.

They have lots of activities for all ages- adults and kids. Vermont is a nice state to explore as well. Summer is great up there. Something for everyone and they can do as little or as much as they want.

Our son is going on 31 years old and still visits with us when we are there. Currently he likes hitting the local breweries.
 

isisdave

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
2,762
Reaction score
1,284
Points
548
Location
Evansville IN
Resorts Owned
Marriott Waiohai
You'd better be clear about what your expectations are regarding meals together, touring, any specific party ... or if it's just "hang out for a few days." I've read some real horror stories ... I think in Carolyn Hax column ... about events like this when the organizer(s) desires weren't communicated and the invitees failed to understand what was expected of them.
 

DrQ

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2005
Messages
5,818
Reaction score
3,802
Points
648
Location
DFW
Resorts Owned
HICV, Westgate (second cousin, twice removed)
You'd better be clear about what your expectations are regarding meals together, touring, any specific party ... or if it's just "hang out for a few days." I've read some real horror stories ... I think in Carolyn Hax column ... about events like this when the organizer(s) desires weren't communicated and the invitees failed to understand what was expected of them.
Good point.

We would make a reservation at a restaurant for each evening or lunch and everyone was aware.
 

WinniWoman

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2010
Messages
10,762
Reaction score
7,057
Points
749
Location
The Weirs, New Hampshire
Resorts Owned
Innseason Pollard Brook
BTW- Smuggs has some on site restaurants and there are some good local ones in Jeffersonville, like 158 Main and Family Table. Stowe is known for having lots of great restaurants also and is a 20 minute drive through the Notch.
 

DrQ

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2005
Messages
5,818
Reaction score
3,802
Points
648
Location
DFW
Resorts Owned
HICV, Westgate (second cousin, twice removed)
Having everyone under one roof immediately brings out territorial and privacy issues we'd prefer to sidestep.

Jim
We were able to get three 2BR for us, 3 kids with SO's and 4 grands. There was enough room for everyone to spread out. I would think in a blended family, that would be serious consideration.
 

BarbmC

TUG Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2016
Messages
129
Reaction score
66
Points
138
Location
Phoenixville, PA
Resorts Owned
Marriott Ocean Club
Marriott BeachPlace
Marriott Vacation Club points owner
Good point about expectations!!
I think I will send out an exploratory email and see if any of them have any input to offer!
Anyone ever do anything in the Pocono's?
 

elaine

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 8, 2005
Messages
5,174
Reaction score
2,093
Points
648
Location
DC
Resorts Owned
HGVC Eagles Nest, DVC-AKV, HHI
What works well is dinner together 4/7 nights. That way people can do other things during the day. A lunch hits in the middle, so that limits everyone’s time. I would poll for dates and seek input of location. Give some ideas-beach, wdw, Williamsburg, etc. for your areas, Smugglers might be better than Massanutten.
I would also get sepaeate accommodations for each family, or at least sibling groups, to have their own space and add a note that you realize this is a significant commitment of vacation time and how much you appreciate it for this special celebration. A lot of families have their own plans, sports camps, etc. so using an extra week can be significant.
With that, a long weekend might be better. Nemicolan (?) woods is close to Pittsburg and a very nice place for a weekend but pricey.
Good luck. Let us know how it turns out.
 

1st Class

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 3, 2006
Messages
1,400
Reaction score
333
Points
293
Location
East Coast
I've never stayed here, but friends have. Woodloch fits your desired location, so may be something to consider. It's a lakefront family resort in the Poconos, and I think all inclusive. They also have guest homes in addition to main lodge rooms.

You may also want to think about Trapp Family Lodge in Vermont, beautiful any time of year and close to Stowe.
 

amycurl

TUG Review Crew
TUG Member
Joined
Sep 26, 2011
Messages
3,071
Reaction score
3,117
Points
449
Location
Greensboro, NC
I think expectations would be key. I think a long weekend (no more than three or four nights) would be best--it's a lower amount of vacation time commitment, and you're not stuck if everyone turns out to be miserable. Being clear about costs is another thing--are you footing the bill for all of them to attend? What parts are you paying for vs. what you are expecting them to pay for(i.e. accommodations only? flights, too? do they pay for their own activity but you pay for the "group" evening meal?) Not everyone may be able to afford it. My in-laws are celebrating their 50th anniversary by inviting us and my BIL's family to all be together for about four nights ....and it was clear that everything we do together would be on them, and anything we do separately would be on us. We did a similar trip to Barcelona about five years ago, with the same expectations. But the in-laws are in a financial position to do this, and they knew that such a trip would be esp. hard for the BIL family without the financial support.
 

easyrider

TUG Review Crew: Elite
TUG Member
Joined
Aug 21, 2005
Messages
15,044
Reaction score
8,001
Points
948
Location
Palm Springs of Washinton
Resorts Owned
Worldmark * * Villa Del Palmar UVCI * * Vacation Internationale*
Years ago, like 43 of them, I was forced to meet relatives who were about my age. It worked out pretty good as all of us brought our stash. Last year we had a family reunion on the Oregon Coast and it was good to see all these people and their families again. We lost a few members but gained a few too.

Me and the relatives that I met all those years ago are the old group now. We are watching the young group do the same things we enjoyed. This never would have happened had we were not forced to meet all those years ago.

Bill
 

bizaro86

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Mar 5, 2008
Messages
3,663
Reaction score
2,488
Points
598
Location
Calgary, AB, Canada
Things to think about:

Do all of your children/significant others have enough vacation time/money that whatever you select won't be a burden?

Does everyone get along well? If there have been disagreements in the past what were they about?

Can you secure enough units so each "family" gets their own?

How do the schedules of each family differ? A couple with a young child or two will probably keep different hours than a newly married young couple...

What activities in each location would appeal to the different groups?
 

geist1223

TUG Member
Joined
May 20, 2015
Messages
5,974
Reaction score
5,728
Points
499
Location
Salem Oregon
Resorts Owned
Worldmark 97,000 Credits
DRI Cabo Azul 50,500
Royal Solaris San Jose del Cabo
We had several Family Reunions at my Mom's House - 3 bedrooms and 1 bath. There would 17 people. One year Mom put the six or so young kids in her bedroom and she slept on a lounge chair in the kitchen, we got a bedroom because we had a baby and we got their first, Rick and his two high school kids got the living room, Ron and his wife slept in their Bus converted to RV, Mike and his wife got a bedroom. We did this twice. So you Don't need a large timeshare condo or several to pull off a family reunion.
 

vacationhopeful

TUG Review Crew: Rookie
TUG Member
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
12,760
Reaction score
1,699
Points
498
Location
Northeast USA
After my last parent passed away, I realized I only been in contact with my scattered siblngs for issues such as our parents' health declining, their passing and then settling their estate. NO FUN TIMES, no good pictures, nothing relaxing or 'great to see you" without saying "wish it was under better conditions". I was the person who did NOT move away from hometown to a different corner of our great country ... I still had contact with our extended local family they grew up, but they did not.

I decided we needed a new venue .... so out went my EMAIL invite to "MY BIRTHDAY PARTY WEEK". 1250+ miles from our childhood home .. in Fort Lauderdale, FL. I would provide the rooms, my start/check out dates (their stay could be up to 10 days) but gave them the option to come or leave ANY time for any length of time during that 10 day period I had the rooms booked.

Sent emails .. no replies or no phone calls for over 3 DAYS! Finally, my youngest sister called .... asking if I was "Okay or some serious reason I wanted to get everyone together". I told her, it would a "The No Funeral, Sick or Dying Parent Sibling" trip ... but "My Birthday Party Week!. They had spent the prior 3 days emailing and calling each other ... why ELSE would I say "BE THERE!" in my "Come to Ft Lauderdale" email .. unless there was something seriously wrong with me.

We had a great time .. no kids, no inlaws, no adult friends ... just us 5 siblings plus one spouse. And everyone wanted to DO IT AGAIN.

And afterwards, we did start doing MORE things together .. but as adult siblings AND in different combinations ... expanded to their spouses, the nieces and the nephews. For example, the large family Alaskan cruise for youngest sister 25th wedding anniversity. Or a niece's winter wedding on Mt Hood, Orgeon or the other niece's wedding at a California winery. Or my year of "babysitting" my suddenly widowed TX sister 1500 miles away (Food & Wine at WDW was one of our trips) ... as she had already put in her retirement paperwork (she had no children). Or the just 16yo niece who graduated high school but too young to drive or live away at college ... she did the perfect, "I don't know." multiple times. Just ONE New Year Eve's Night in Key West, FL ... days after she returned home, I get a phone call from her mother (my sister)... "What did you do to her?" Her mother's new issue: the kid had become a happy, confident, going 'out & about' young adult ... singing to herself ... after her returning home. My sister's issue with me --- "How did you do that in a week?" My answer, "Ask your brother!" .. NYE in Key West was his idea. That niece is a psychologist now ... and I am her still her favorite aunt .. A title I earned on that South Florida trip. ... I was waiting for her when she arrived in Ft Lauderdale ... just where I promised I would be in the airport. And I taught her how to ride and use the Broward County Public Bus system. She today has no car .. takes public transportion.

My niece's fear about me NOT being at the airport. My youngest sister 'forgot' to pick her up at the Baltimore Airport a year or so earlier. That sister swears there was an accident on the interstate. My niece borrowed someone cell phone to call her California mother 3000 miles away. In total panic.

Same (forgetful?) sister who left her 4 yo son at my house because he refused to get in her van to go home. 130+ miles from her home. As for her son, he was one happy camper staying at my house; but his mother was WAY HAPPIER he was miles away; his father did adjusted but to proclaim 5 night later, "Maybe it is NOT a bad idea for him to say with your sister for a few more days?" I had just gotten him to agree to "GO HOME" a few hours earlier in the evening ... emailing my sister that he was going home.... "to go to the (grandparent's) condo on the beach for one week AND then, he was coming back for 1 week to stay again with you." I said, "Right On" but I was thinking, "Over your Mother's dead body will she EVER bring you back to NJ". His mother did quickly change her mind ... he came back for next 6+ summers. He still chooses to sit next to me at every family meal. And he started college last September.
 
Last edited:

bluehende

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Jun 6, 2005
Messages
4,507
Reaction score
3,967
Points
598
My wife has 4 siblings. I tried quite a few years ago to get a family reunion at a resort area a couple hours away. Any week we could get the most with a 6 to 9 month window was doable. I was willing to provide all accommodations for up to 25 people if everyone attended. I detailed the activities possible in the area and even was willing to do a backpacking night with the kids if they wanted. I never received one reply. Now every once in a while a sibling will bring up to me about a big vacation somewhere. My response is always "Set it up and we will certainly be willing to go". Of course that is as far as it goes. I already spent a lot of time setting up this and no one even gave me the courtesy of a reply.

Moral is. Don't expect a lot of commitment unless you are lucky.
 

DrQ

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2005
Messages
5,818
Reaction score
3,802
Points
648
Location
DFW
Resorts Owned
HICV, Westgate (second cousin, twice removed)
We got together for my in-law's 50th anniversary. My BIL rented the cabin and we took care of the food other BIL just blessed us with his presence :rolleyes:. It worked out reasonably well.
 

bbodb1

TUG Review Crew: Expert
TUG Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2016
Messages
4,305
Reaction score
3,824
Points
348
Location
High radiation belt of the Northern Hemisphere
Resorts Owned
RCI Weeks: LaCosta Beach Club, RCI Points: Oakmont Resort, Vacation Village at Parkway. Wyndham: CWA and La Belle Maison, and WorldMark.
Boy, this thread is making me hope that whatever efforts the wife and I can/are doing to keep encouraging our three kids to physically get together at least one per year take root. Our youngest moved out last year and our three kids are physically spread out over a 1200 mile corridor. As many have suggested in this thread, there are a lot of relatives and friends we've lost touch with over the years because we just don't get together for any reason.

The times - they are a changing.
 

silentg

TUG Review Crew: Expert
TUG Member
Joined
Jul 17, 2005
Messages
6,185
Reaction score
3,260
Points
649
Location
Central Florida
Resorts Owned
Fitzpatrick's Castle Holiday Homes,
Enchanted Isle.
We are planning birthday party for Adult son.
Going to contact the resort we have booked for us, to see if they have package for family to come and stay weekend.
Thanks for the suggestion.
I’ll let you know what happens.
Resort is VV in Weston,FL
Silentg
 

DrQ

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 13, 2005
Messages
5,818
Reaction score
3,802
Points
648
Location
DFW
Resorts Owned
HICV, Westgate (second cousin, twice removed)
It really depends on the kids. In our case, two are within a day's drive and have get together for holidays. In fact, friends of one's in-laws has kept in touch and regularly invite both siblings to get togethers :thumbup:. The other sibling would like to be with the others, but distance and job just keeps it from happening.
 

klpca

TUG Review Crew: Veteran
TUG Member
Joined
Sep 11, 2006
Messages
8,273
Reaction score
7,280
Points
749
Location
CA
Resorts Owned
SDO, Quarter House, Seapointe, Coronado Beach, Carlsbad Inn, Worldmark
I am in the midst of a long birthday weekend for my mom. She is having a blast, us (adult) kids, maybe not as much but we are trying. We have never been super close, even as children, and nothing has changed.

Our own kids are pretty close (daily texting with each other via group text) plus vacationing together, so I hope that they will continue to stay close. We try to do a family trip every few years as well.

Offer to pay, give people their own space and time, and set your expectations on the lower side. Fingers crossed for you.
 
Last edited:

Paumavista

TUG Member
Joined
Jun 14, 2005
Messages
741
Reaction score
331
Points
424
Location
Seneca, SC
We do a family reunion with the (blended) kid families every other year (he has 2, I have 2, we have 3) ......we rent a beach house and they all come (LOL.....as long as we pay they all want to come!). We have 7 children; 4 are married with children. Most of the kids have never lived together and these get togethers are the only time they have all been together in the same place. By picking a beach location...with no other real agenda other than spending time in the house pool or down at the beach (think Hilton Head)….it's very laid back, we bike ride, kayak, BBQ, swim, walk/talk. Each child is responsible for a meal (we've discovered some great new recipes). The time together has been wonderful and it has given them all a chance to get to know one another......one day we'll be gone; if we don't establish some type of connection between the kids there won't be one.
 

BarbmC

TUG Member
Joined
Nov 27, 2016
Messages
129
Reaction score
66
Points
138
Location
Phoenixville, PA
Resorts Owned
Marriott Ocean Club
Marriott BeachPlace
Marriott Vacation Club points owner
We had rented a house last year in Cape May NJ for 1 week. Made sure everyone had their own room. My daughter and her husband and my grandson stayed the whole week (both teachers glad to have a funded vacation) everyone else was there for part of the week- 2 nights everyone was there together. Looking to see what other ideas there are - appreciate everyone’s feedback. I did send an email today - I have no anticipation of responses.
 
Top