Showing my bias?
I think this would all work better for all parties involved if it were not for the existence of a number of JERKS who delight in causing controversy.
I would never think to try to engage someone for something as important as a wedding (or a funeral or an anniversary or an adoption) if their personal preference was not compatible with my own or, more precisely, if their personal preference precluded them from providing the best, most committed possible service.
To try to litigate that a particular service provider serve me when they do not want to is asking for an unpleasant and unsatisfactory experience. What is to be gained by that, other than proving you are somehow "right?"
That having been said, I would also expect that people who provide services make decisions based on something other than inherent prejudices. It's one thing for a member of the clergy to choose not to unite people who are not of their faith, it is a completely different story for a restaurant to say, "no blacks (or gays or women or Muslims) allowed." There are limits on both sides.
Of course, I also had to shake my head at the couple in New York who is(?) suing the Waldorf because one of their wedding guests accidentally(?) shot someone, and the Waldorf cancelled the reception.
I am not gay, but, being in the performing industry for a long time, many of my colleagues certainly were. They were always respectful of my choice, and I of theirs. For us, it was never an issue. I am happy that they are now able to openly share a commitment the same way I can, and that they will enjoy the "benefits" of marriage, should they choose it.
Tom