clifffaith
TUG Member
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2016
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- Location
- San Juan Capistrano, CA
- Resorts Owned
- Worldmark
Cliff took my mother for physical therapy yesterday while I stayed home to wait on the SubZero repair man. My sister, who lives with my parents, was still pet sitting because her people had been delayed somewhere by weather, so she could not take Mom as planned. Cliff gets Mom back home and sits to chat with my parents a bit. He about fell off his chair, and had to really restrain himself, but Mom announced in front of my "We will never sell this house" father that she will be moving into assisted living at some point. Truly the only assistance she needs at this typing is transportation and house keeping, but that could change in an instant as we saw this summer when her leg got so bad.
Cliff told me "don't say anything until she brings it up again". Apparently, although she still insists on being Dad's care giver, she has seen what it takes and knows that it would be better to be in an environment where there is help. I am alternating between being glad she won't be at home with my sister who is unreliable and has some mental issues, and feeling like with us eventually 2 hours away in Carlsbad worrying if we can visit often enough to keep her from falling into a depression. She is quite chatty, so I don't worry about her not making friends there, but being without family will take some getting used to. Although Mom could probably do just fine with a helper of some sort cooking, cleaning, driving her, the issue remains that my darn sister, living rent free and being given their car, should be able to do that for her and won't. So best to sell the house out from under Hope, give her some inheritance money up front, and let her do whatever she decides to do and where ever she decides to do it.
Would love to have Mom move to Carlsbad, if not "with" us at least in assisted living near us. Then we could bring her to our apartment as a change of scenery for her, take her out to dinner, oversee her care, etc. Once Dad dies (fingers crossed he makes it through Christmas, their 66th anniversary the next day, and his 87th birthday the day after), she'll need a grieving period. I think a year after that we can start working on what kind of facility is available locally, float the Carlsbad idea, and see what things cost. Easy enough to have her live with us (there's room for Hope too) if her home sells before a spot opens up where ever she wants to go. I have, shall we say, a tendency to want to be in charge (Cliff says I'm bossy, my childhood nickname was Top Sergeant) which I need to curtail as Mom finds her way to where she wants to spend her last years.
Cliff told me "don't say anything until she brings it up again". Apparently, although she still insists on being Dad's care giver, she has seen what it takes and knows that it would be better to be in an environment where there is help. I am alternating between being glad she won't be at home with my sister who is unreliable and has some mental issues, and feeling like with us eventually 2 hours away in Carlsbad worrying if we can visit often enough to keep her from falling into a depression. She is quite chatty, so I don't worry about her not making friends there, but being without family will take some getting used to. Although Mom could probably do just fine with a helper of some sort cooking, cleaning, driving her, the issue remains that my darn sister, living rent free and being given their car, should be able to do that for her and won't. So best to sell the house out from under Hope, give her some inheritance money up front, and let her do whatever she decides to do and where ever she decides to do it.
Would love to have Mom move to Carlsbad, if not "with" us at least in assisted living near us. Then we could bring her to our apartment as a change of scenery for her, take her out to dinner, oversee her care, etc. Once Dad dies (fingers crossed he makes it through Christmas, their 66th anniversary the next day, and his 87th birthday the day after), she'll need a grieving period. I think a year after that we can start working on what kind of facility is available locally, float the Carlsbad idea, and see what things cost. Easy enough to have her live with us (there's room for Hope too) if her home sells before a spot opens up where ever she wants to go. I have, shall we say, a tendency to want to be in charge (Cliff says I'm bossy, my childhood nickname was Top Sergeant) which I need to curtail as Mom finds her way to where she wants to spend her last years.